Have you ever felt like you didn’t quite belong somewhere?
I don’t like that feeling, and I certainly never want anyone else to ever feel that way. I chalk it up to a childhood game of Red Rover when the kids chose teams and I was one of the last ones picked. A good chunk of my life has been spent making sure others feel included. I give a lot of that credit to my parents for raising me to care about and be respectful for other people’s feelings.
Recently I’ve been thinking about something and I really just want to take a moment to thank each one of you. The fact that you take time out of your busy days to read my sometimes too long, rambling posts about the way I tend to see the world, is quite humbling.
If you’ve read my other stories, you know that a recent hospital stay turned this “I’m never going to blog” girl into a “blogging” girl. While trying to figure out how to even have blog, I ran across lots of advice. The most general consensus was: pick your audience.
I am published in the genre of special needs parenting. That would have been the assumed audience choice for me. But, I just couldn’t wrap my heart around leaving anyone else out.
I followed my heart here and I am simply writing. Because, the truth, for me anyway, is that the writing chooses its reader. All I have to do is get the ideas onto my keyboard, and whoever is meant to read it or wants to read it, can.
I learned a really big writing lesson lately about being able to let my writing go. On the surface that is a mind boggling concept for me. I have written a couple books, but haven’t published them because I’ve been a bit attached to the “me” in them, and I’ve also been scared to put my thoughts out into the world for others judge.
Enter this blog. Here’s the thing I absolutely love about this blog:
It is so freeing!
I can just write when I want to or feel like I need to. Two weeks ago I had total writer’s block. I had no story ideas whatsoever. Then, like magic, a few suddenly appeared and poured out so quick I barely could keep up with the words. Then, bam! Writer’s baracade showed up. Forget writer’s block. Nothing. Oh, I had ideas, but every time I tried to write, it ended up as a mushy mess. I went six days without publishing a single story.
All the sudden, I was writing again! I couldn’t keep up with it. In fact, I was awake most of the night getting “The Thanks of Giving and Living” done. That just seems to be the nature of my writing. There’s no forcing it, it comes when it’s ready.
My heart is filled with extreme gratitude for all of you for sticking by me on days when no new stories come. I have to pinch myself every time I look at my blog stats because the numbers just keep going up and up.
I appreciate you reading this and I just want to tell you, thank you so very much!