Have you ever faced a situation that was “iffy” at best? And, you maybe had to keep putting one foot in front of the other when you absolutely questioned whether you could even take a single step?

My friend Karen has. She wrote this amazing story about when her son was born and I wanted to share it with you. I know lots of mommas that have had babies in NICU and at times the outcomes have been bittersweet.

Thank you, Karen for sharing your experience. By doing so, you have given a voice to others on similar journeys.

finding merle

Update: I wrote the following a year ago after a friend suffered a horrible loss. It sat in Drafts, unpublished, until today. Sweet baby girl would have been a year old. 

The baby passed away Saturday. It is Monday, two days later. It is easier to write the facts because the feelings get tangled somewhere between my heart, my brain, and my mouth. They ooze into place, they swell and won’t budge. It hurts. Pressure builds. My lip begins to quiver. My chin shakes. My throat feels oddly swollen. My eyes fill and I can’t see.

I try to speak but nothing comes out. I remember her picture, her beautiful face. The tears spill over.

The baby died Saturday. I am taken aback….

September 1988–one month pre-birth

“You’re due on about the 19th, but we can schedule it for the 12th. The doctor will be out of town on…

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18 thoughts on “Imprints

            • Oh my gosh! Isn’t that weird, the differences? In time early and weight? We went home at 5 lbs.

              6 weeks in NICU? Bet that was hard! Especially when the paper wouldn’t run a birth announcement… And, being close to term, I’d guess what you said the other night about only getting one card must have been really confusing. Was the lung issue because of the cleft or 2 issues?

              Liked by 1 person

              • No, separate issues. Cleft was because something interrupted blood flow to placenta early in pregnancy. I now know I have a generic blood clotting disorder called Factor V Leiden but only found out recently. And an autoimmune clotting disorder called lupus anticoagulant. So possible a clot affected pregnancy. He had underdeveloped lungs that kept him on a respirator for weeks, but not sure why. I think his weight definitely helped him survive! Lucky to have wonderful medical care in the Chicago area!

                Liked by 1 person

              • Wow! He’s DEFINITELY A MIRACLE! And, you are too, young lady!! 2 clotting disorders? I just found out recently I have a genetic predisposition to clotting!

                I’m so happy you had great medical care. And that your son made it through that and more. What a blessing he is! 💜


              • Thanks, Jess. You know, it is what it is. I share my Factor V with one brother, we know it’s from one parent only. I will take coumadin always and no more extreme sports for me (as if !) Does your clotting disorder have a name? Mine is not necessarily so severe, they think one thing served as a triggering event. I was in hospital for 10 days 2 years ago and had incredible vein doctors, performed something called trellising to get rid of clot from groin to behind knee on left leg. Dave is indeed a miracle, a true fighter! Hugs!

                Liked by 2 people

              • Wow! I’ve never heard of trellising! Sounds like you are lucky to be here as well! Mine is MTHFR which can cause clotting issues, heart issues, strokes…

                Yay for Dave. ❤️


              • Who knew all these things? I looked up yours, sort of vague like mine can be. Trellising was almost like rotoroorering the vein mechanically to help prevent damage to the leg. I get an ultrasound once a year to check for clots. So far all has been great and my brother is doing well, too. Other siblings were tested and don’t have disorder.

                Liked by 2 people

              • PS I loved when Karen wrote his cheeks pinked up! That made me smile so big and teary. Her pictures are great, too. Thanks for reading and telling me about Dave! Who knew we were all connected? Pretty cool!

                Liked by 2 people

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