Only Sadness

Have you ever had friends that were more like siblings? 

Call it a gift of being the oldest of four, I’ve had many. A lot of my sisters’ and brother’s friends over the years, have seemed just like real brothers and sisters to me. 

After an unexpected phone call last night, life instantly went on rewind. 

Back to the neighborhood we grew up in. 

Back to summers long gone. 

Back to the days when my baby sister and brother beat the sunrise to rush around the block to play with a kid they adored.

I hardly remember a moment in our childhood that he wasn’t in. Forget peas in a pod, they were more like triplets. 

Triplets through school. They attended proms together, stayed close through college, and were even in each other’s weddings. 

Here’s what I love about that:

Friendship in families isn’t an isolated event. 

We love him and his family, and they love us. That’s what happens I guess, when families grow up together. 

❤️ Love grows. 

❤️ Love extends. 

❤️ Love includes. 

It’s like a great big cake, slathered with butter cream frosting and covered with a billion candles and multicolored sprinkles. 

  • Our parents are the cake itself, the foundation. 
  • The frosting is all of life’s adventures, whipped together and spread about. 
  • The candles and sprinkles are all good stuff: the laughs, joys, the memories. 

With the call last night, came heartache.

Even though it had been years since I’ve seen him, the words of his loss caught my breath. 

Immediately, my heart started aching for his family, mine, and everyone who loves him. 

I have no words of wisdom here… Only sadness. 

28 thoughts on “Only Sadness

  1. DailyMusings August 1, 2016 / 5:09 pm

    I am so sorry. I know exactly what you mean. Those friendships forged as children run very deep- no matter the time that may have separated you as adults. So very sad. <3 hugs to you

    • Jessica August 1, 2016 / 5:35 pm

      Oh my gosh. I’m so glad you understand. I was torn about writing, yet really felt a push to. The last thing I want to do is bring anybody down… Bless you for your kind words. Truly.

  2. Miriam August 1, 2016 / 6:47 pm

    Oh Jess, my heart breaks for you. Friendships run deep, so deep, and I can understand all too well. Hugs to you my dear friend. xo

    • Jessica August 1, 2016 / 8:00 pm

      That’s makes me sad that you understand all too well. Loss is hard. I told my mom today that I really didn’t know if I should publish this. But, I felt the need to. I told her maybe this would help one person, a friend or a stranger somewhere, ya know? Hugs back. :(

      • Miriam August 1, 2016 / 9:01 pm

        Of course, I know what you mean. I think you did the right thing, there’s nothing wrong with putting your heart out there. xo

        • Jessica August 2, 2016 / 10:15 am

          Thanks soul sister

  3. Mrs Strawberry Blonde August 1, 2016 / 6:55 pm

    I’m so sorry! I too have a few friends that I think of as family.
    My heart goes out to you and to the entire family – friends included.

    • Jessica August 1, 2016 / 7:56 pm

      Thank you, sweetheart. I’m glad you understand.

  4. ladieswholunchreviews August 3, 2016 / 10:00 pm

    So sorry. We went through the loss of a dear friend whom we’d known since he played Pony League baseball with one of my brothers, through college, weddings, children. He’d been ill a long time and it wasn’t a total surprise, but still just as devastating when he passed away. ((Hugs))

    • Jessica August 3, 2016 / 10:25 pm

      Oh my. I bet that was soooooo hard… (Keep those hugs comin’)

      • ladieswholunchreviews August 4, 2016 / 7:25 am

        My brothers took it very badly. Jamie was the first in their circle of friends to pass away…inevitable, but it doesn’t make it any easier…

        • Jessica August 4, 2016 / 7:44 am

          I bet that was extremely heartbreaking to see your brothers hurting. That’s how I feel right now. My big “sister-ness” has kicked into high gear, but there’s no way to protect them from this…

          • ladieswholunchreviews August 4, 2016 / 8:07 am

            That is, maybe, God’s way of showing us how connected we are! Amazing, Jess, just amazing <3

          • Jessica August 4, 2016 / 10:01 am

            Oh Diane, I LOVE that. I know I say I love things all the time. I do love things ALL the time. But, I especially LOVE that!! Sisters. 💜

  5. Eskie Antics August 4, 2016 / 7:59 pm

    I’m so sorry about your loss. I’m sure you’re wishing you could relive your childhood again just to experience those memories again. Sending love your way..

    • Jessica August 4, 2016 / 8:10 pm

      Yes!!!! THAT’S IT! I’m guessing everyone in my family would love to experience those memories again. Luckily it was great the first time around. :) A second time would really be something! 💜 Thanks for the love coming this way… I’ll take it. :)

      • Eskie Antics August 8, 2016 / 10:49 pm

        Anytime, Jessica. You are a humble, sweet, kind-hearted soul. And I don’t need to meet you in person to make that statement :)

        • Jessica August 9, 2016 / 3:09 am

          Awww… Insert a big heart here…

    • Jessica August 8, 2016 / 8:13 pm

      Hi. I’m sorry, I thought I replied. Thank you… for reading. And for reaching out with words of comfort on a post that has to be difficult to read. I appreciate that.

  6. thejuicenut August 7, 2016 / 7:55 am

    As this is my first visit to your beautiful blog, I am sorry to read about your family’s loss. It is tough being the older sister sometimes, but also rewarding. They know you are there to share the memories and to listen to them reminisce about their friend. A very sad time for you all. Don’t forget to care of yourself too ☺️💐

    • Jessica August 7, 2016 / 8:04 am

      Thank you for your kind words. How thoughtful. It’s hard knowing they are so sad. But, you’re right. I can be here when they’re ready. :)

  7. Claremary P. Sweeney August 8, 2016 / 7:58 pm

    The years come together and it seems just like yesterday. This must be difficult for all of you, thinking of the past happiness and knowing he is not here to have those same lovely thoughts. I hope the memories make you smile every time you think of him.

    • Jessica August 8, 2016 / 8:11 pm

      I can’t even begin to tell you how beautiful what you said is. It is spot on. It is sad that he’s not here to remember those times.

      It’s been a week now. The sadness lingers. But, the crying has subsided quite a bit. It’s almost like the shock of the loss took a step to the left, and the missing him is front and center…

      Thank you for your wonderful thoughts. They came at the perfect moment. 💜

      • Claremary P. Sweeney August 9, 2016 / 9:02 am

        You’re welcome, Jessica. I think I understood a little of how you felt. A few weeks ago, I was reading the newspaper and saw a friend’s father’s obituary. We had been best friends in high school but had lost touch over the years. He was being buried at the Veteran’s Cemetery nearby and I though I would go over to offer my condolences. But at the end of the obituary I read the words “Pre-deceased by his daughter, Cheryl.” It was too late and I felt a terrible sadness. throughout the days to follow, I think of her often and all of the fun we used to have. I hope you have the same wonderful thoughts of your friend. 💔 Clare

        • Jessica August 9, 2016 / 9:38 am

          Oh Clare…My heart just broke for you. How sad that you found out about her that way, I bet that was sooooo hard to read. The shock of an unknown grief, in print. Sending warm thoughts of peace and comfort your way. Hugs.

          Yes, the wonderful thoughts and memories are pouring in the flood gates. Love how the heart leads its own self to comfort that way.

          • Claremary P. Sweeney August 10, 2016 / 8:27 am

            After a few weeks I find myself remembering our double dates and fixing each other up with disastrous blind dates and just driving around in my parent’s car in the summer with the radio blasting. Lots of fun thoughts that make me smile. It would have been nice to sit with her and remember, though. I think there are a lot of people who have the same experience as we’ve had. Lesson well-learned. Hope you’re doing okay, too. Thanks, Jessica

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