Only Sadness

/ Jessica

Have you ever had friends that were more like siblings? 

Call it a gift of being the oldest of four, I’ve had many. A lot of my sisters’ and brother’s friends over the years, have seemed just like real brothers and sisters to me. 

After an unexpected phone call last night, life instantly went on rewind. 

Back to the neighborhood we grew up in. 

Back to summers long gone. 

Back to the days when my baby sister and brother beat the sunrise to rush around the block to play with a kid they adored.

I hardly remember a moment in our childhood that he wasn’t in. Forget peas in a pod, they were more like triplets. 

Triplets through school. They attended proms together, stayed close through college, and were even in each other’s weddings. 

Here’s what I love about that:

Friendship in families isn’t an isolated event. 

We love him and his family, and they love us. That’s what happens I guess, when families grow up together. 

❤️ Love grows. 

❤️ Love extends. 

❤️ Love includes. 

It’s like a great big cake, slathered with butter cream frosting and covered with a billion candles and multicolored sprinkles. 

  • Our parents are the cake itself, the foundation. 
  • The frosting is all of life’s adventures, whipped together and spread about. 
  • The candles and sprinkles are all good stuff: the laughs, joys, the memories. 

With the call last night, came heartache.

Even though it had been years since I’ve seen him, the words of his loss caught my breath. 

Immediately, my heart started aching for his family, mine, and everyone who loves him. 

I have no words of wisdom here… Only sadness. 

28 thoughts on “Only Sadness”

  1. The years come together and it seems just like yesterday. This must be difficult for all of you, thinking of the past happiness and knowing he is not here to have those same lovely thoughts. I hope the memories make you smile every time you think of him.

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    • I can’t even begin to tell you how beautiful what you said is. It is spot on. It is sad that he’s not here to remember those times.

      It’s been a week now. The sadness lingers. But, the crying has subsided quite a bit. It’s almost like the shock of the loss took a step to the left, and the missing him is front and center…

      Thank you for your wonderful thoughts. They came at the perfect moment. 💜

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      • You’re welcome, Jessica. I think I understood a little of how you felt. A few weeks ago, I was reading the newspaper and saw a friend’s father’s obituary. We had been best friends in high school but had lost touch over the years. He was being buried at the Veteran’s Cemetery nearby and I though I would go over to offer my condolences. But at the end of the obituary I read the words “Pre-deceased by his daughter, Cheryl.” It was too late and I felt a terrible sadness. throughout the days to follow, I think of her often and all of the fun we used to have. I hope you have the same wonderful thoughts of your friend. 💔 Clare

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        • Oh Clare…My heart just broke for you. How sad that you found out about her that way, I bet that was sooooo hard to read. The shock of an unknown grief, in print. Sending warm thoughts of peace and comfort your way. Hugs.

          Yes, the wonderful thoughts and memories are pouring in the flood gates. Love how the heart leads its own self to comfort that way.

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          • After a few weeks I find myself remembering our double dates and fixing each other up with disastrous blind dates and just driving around in my parent’s car in the summer with the radio blasting. Lots of fun thoughts that make me smile. It would have been nice to sit with her and remember, though. I think there are a lot of people who have the same experience as we’ve had. Lesson well-learned. Hope you’re doing okay, too. Thanks, Jessica

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  2. As this is my first visit to your beautiful blog, I am sorry to read about your family’s loss. It is tough being the older sister sometimes, but also rewarding. They know you are there to share the memories and to listen to them reminisce about their friend. A very sad time for you all. Don’t forget to care of yourself too ☺️💐

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  5. So sorry. We went through the loss of a dear friend whom we’d known since he played Pony League baseball with one of my brothers, through college, weddings, children. He’d been ill a long time and it wasn’t a total surprise, but still just as devastating when he passed away. ((Hugs))

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