Enjoy The Ride

/ Jessica

Have you ever been on one of those amusement park rides that whips you all around and flips you upside down? 

That happened to me exactly a year ago today. Only there was no admission price, no cotton candy, and no waiting in line for this ride I’ve sort of been stuck on. 

On September 15,2015, I was driving. Little Bit and I were on our way to meet friends at the bowling alley. 

We never made it. 

About 15 miles from home, my health somersaulted resulting in an ambulance ride, 13 hours in ER, extensive testing, being scared silly, lots of tears, and a 4 day hospital stay. 

It. Was. Hard. 

And, not just on me. 

The doctors were talking about the possibility of some terrible things being wrong. Cancer, Lyme Disease, MS, stroke…

We were devastated. 

At one point I remember looking over at my husband and seeing tears on his cheeks.

I could barely see him through my own…

My parents drove 5 hours to be with me. My husband and Little Bit STAYED with me the entire time. Little Bit slept with me in my hospital bed.

Only I didn’t sleep.

I laid there looking at him, thinking I was dying of brain cancer and I’d never see him again. 

If I could’ve reached into my gut and pulled out that knot of fear, I would’ve. 

During the days, my friends showed up with their kids and gifts to cheer us. 

The nights were excruciatingly long, worry packed, and nurse filled. 

I was put on a really strong iv medicine those four days. It made my blood sugar spike and I had to get insulin injections. 

I’ve never been on insulin. Ever. 

I was sent home with a prescription of the same medication in oral form and a prescription for insulin. 

Oh, and I was sent home with a “diagnosis” by the doctor who was treating me at the hospital. 

He was absolutely positive he knew what I had and even yelled at me in front of my family when I questioned it. 

His diagnosis was not a good one. 

We prepared the best we could. Immediately after I got home, I started researching diets, alternative care, outcomes, and statistics. 

Then, over the course of the next 3 months, we found out his diagnosis was wrong. You read that right. 

Misdiagnosed. 

We spent a total of 5 months in and out of doctor’s offices and on the phone with them when they called with more devastating news.

However, at the end of those 5 months, the best they had to offer was guesses. 

Guesses. 

With my life. 

Guesses are great for gum balls in a jar for a prize, but man, guesses tied to health are difficult to carry around. 

One even suggested doing a surgery and if I still had the symptoms afterwards, we’d know it was something else. 

Seriously?

I passed. 

After that and a failed attempt to get into the Mayo clinic, I cried for 2 solid days, then declared “enough.”

Enough questions, enough doctors, enough worry, enough putting my friends and family through it, enough guesses, enough sleepless nights. Enough. 

We took a medical break. 

It was in the months that followed, that Clarity came skipping in, with a smile on her face, and flowers in her hand. 

Soon Hope, Grace, and extreme Thankfulness barreled through the door and wrapped their arms around me. 

Was this last year something I had in mind? Never in a gazillion years. 

Do I know what’s wrong? Still working on it. 

Did it end up being one of my most interesting years ever? Most definitely. 

It’s been a beautifully rough year. 

What I choose to carry around with me, is that life really is like those crazy amusement park rides.

It seems like once we’re buckled in, it’s up to us whether we close our eyes and duck our heads, or stick our arms above the bars. 

Even after all I’ve been through in 12 months, my arms are stretched up high, there’s a smile plastered on my face, and I’m still trying to enjoy the ride. 


77 thoughts on “Enjoy The Ride”

  1. Jessica you are amazing! Thanks for sharing your story. We went through a similar struggle with all 3 of our kids, one of which now has a genetic diagnosis none of us ever expected. An x-linked disorder (with me as the asymptomatic carrier). A wise doctor once reminded me that doctors are humans too and it is hard for them too when they can’t find a diagnosis. That said, the relationship is like any other…if they’re not compatible you find one that is. Hope you find your answers soon.

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    • Hi Jenny. How are you? I’ve been thinking about you lately. Wow. I can’t imagine going through this with 3 kiddos. I’m so happy to hear that you got answers. Was it a genetic doctor that found it?

      I like what you said. It has to be frustrating not being able to find answers for someone. Who knows what they think about when they go home at night. That’s a great perspective, I’m glad you mentioned it. Thank you. I also love what you said about compatibility. I guess we don’t know unless we try them out. Thanks for taking the time to read this. I do appreciate it! 😊

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  2. Oh my, that’s a tough ride you’ve been on. I so admire your attitude, hope and faith. Life is definitely a ride, strap yourself in and hold on – hold on tight to those you love!! Praying for you and yours †
    This post is amazing!! You are a wonderful wonderful writer and storyteller!!

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    • I’ve learned that even a rough ride is a BLESSED ride. I’m always looking for the lessons. Thank you for your prayers. That means so much!

      Your last two sentences went straight to my heart. Thank you. 🌺

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  3. My dear friend, you are always there for me during my medical issues and I wish I could suggest something that would help you! You are brave and wonderful and tenacious and you need to be! I have a friend who was just diagnosed a year ago with Parkinson’s after suffering many seemingly unrelated symptoms and visiting several doctors, including two neurologists, who did not connect the dots. After nearly 3 years she went to a major Chicago hospital and was put on medication within a day. To be fair, it’s a tough diagnosis cause there’s no definitive test, just try the medication if Parkinson’s is suspected and if the medication helps, that’s what you have. But two other neurologists didn’t even suspect this?
    Do you think if you did a post detailing your exact symptoms that someone online might recognize what it meant? I’d be happy to reblog and I’m sure lots of other people would, too, to get a wide exposure. If you’re not comfortable, I understand completely, just a thought. Sending huge hugs your way! <3

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    • Oh no. 3 years? Bet that was sooooo hard for her. It’s so difficult knowing SOMETHING is off and nobody can figure it out. I’m glad she finally found someone who knew what was going on. Her story sounds like mine. Those 5 months were spent with specialists!! One of them was amazing. The others? I’ll never step foot in their offices again.

      It’s been quite a learning experience. I have a couple different issues- don’t know if they’re related. I told you one is my heart. Hoping to get with a great cardiologist one of these days. I think it’ll take getting to a city with more advanced knowledge and technology before its all said and done.

      I appreciate your idea of putting it “out” there. I think I’ll hold off for now, anyway.

      It’s been my pleasure to offer my friendship and support during your health journey. You are a treasure and I adore you. ❤️ Big hugs! Like you said before, we WILL figure this out. We believe! ❤️

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  4. Another thought – sorry, I’m taking over your post – have you thought about taking good quality live bacterial culture capsules with no additives or sugar to improve your gut health? You need to take them long term. Three-quarters of your immune system is in your gut and there is a close connection between the health of your gut and brain issues etc. If you’re not absorbing nutrients or have food intolerances, this could be a place to start. You have nothing to lose (except the money you spend on them!) by taking them while you research further options. ☺️

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    • Is that different than a probiotic? I’ve been taking Garden of Life Raw Probiotics 50 billion. After a few weeks though, I get pretty sick.

      I’m interested in anything that will help the gut. Any suggestions welcome!! Thank you so much.

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      • No, that’s what I meant. Different brands can have different combinations. Some people do experience nausea or bloating when they first start taking them. It could be the material used as a base or that some of the bacteria are new and not already present in the your gut. If you try a different strain, you may be ok. If you went straight in with the maximum dose instead of beginning low and gradually increasing, that could be a cause too. Perhaps including fermented foods and live plant yogurts in your everyday diet might be better? It could be that your gut environment was not healthy enough for them to thrive, that you need prebiotics to create the environment in which probiotics can survive. Prebiotic food sources are raw garlic, raw onion, raw asparagus, raw dandelion leaves, raw tiger nuts (not a nut but a tuber. I swear by them, they make lovely sweet, creamy mylk). Raw Jerusalem artichoke, raw leeks. That’s all I know for now. I did see a warning for taking probiotic supplements if you have pancreatitis, recent surgery and a weakened immune system.

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        • Thank you so much. That makes sense. I’ll try prebiotics. A strong on was suggested by the Health store after I had antibiotics. Bet they’re too strong. I’m going there today, so I’ll see what they have. Thank you!

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          • Always remember, no matter how friendly and helpful staff are, they don’t know your medical history and their primary purpose is to sell their products. You would be better consulting an experienced naturopath, Chinese acupuncturist (as an acupuncturist trained in Chinese acupuncture not necessarily one who is Chinese!) or naturopathic nutritionist. Do your research online before going to the store. I always recommend whole foods in preference to supplements. Supplements are so hit and miss, you never know what’s in them or how they’re produced or where they come from, the quality or of the strength is right for you.

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  5. Forgot to say my posts ‘juicing: How to Begin or Do As I Say Not as I Did!’ and ‘How I juiced My Skin Clear: A Rash Decision?’ detail the positive effects of juicing on my health. Sorry, not self-promoting, just trying be supporting ☺️

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    • Awesome! I need a starting place! Thank you so much. I was just watching YouTube videos on how to juice without a juicer or blender. The noise is an issue for us. Any suggestions? Or do you know of a quiet juicer?

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      • How can you juice without a juicer?! It’s not possible to make therapeutic juices without a juicer. Don’t be sold on Nutribullet-type devices, they are superblenders, not juicers. Maybe look at Jason Vale YouTube videos, Joe Cross or Jay Kordich (known as the father of juicing). Juicers are a bit noisy, the centrifugal (fast) ones more so than the slower masticating (cold press) ones. The latter give more and higher quality juice but are much more expensive. Worth it if you are committed and can afford it. We have Retro Superfast and Cold Press juicers. Weight is an issue for us, I had to send an excellent brand back as we couldn’t lift it out of the box! (Froothie Optimum). Look at the muicers the experts use. Joe Cross likes Breville fast juicer and Sage slow juicer. There are a lot of juice therapists who often give demonstrations and let you try juices.

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    • Hello. Your words are super kind. Thank you. “So very inspiring ” makes my heart smile. I truly appreciate your wishes.

      There’s nothing more wonderful than all these days that pile together, from the mundane to the extraordinary. We celebrated this one year anniversary on a hilltop near horses and the wind. Such a beautiful day.

      Thank you for reading. That means a ton to me. 💖 I hope you have an amazing weekend.

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  7. My prayers are with you and your family. Health issues can be so hard on more than just your physical well being.
    Keep searching and researching. I have learned that you are your own best advocate and never ever let the medical profession bully you into something you know to be untrue. You know your body better than anyone and you know when something does not feel right.
    I will be praying you find answers so that roller coaster smooths out a little :).

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    • You’re so awesome. I can just see us sitting down and drinking tea and chit chatting about all this. Then driving 20 miles for pizza! :)

      Thank you for your prayers. I believe in the power of positive thoughts and prayers. Seen it work many times. Your last line made me smile. I’m all for a smooth ride around the tracks.

      This has been an eye opening experience for sure. I was raised to trust doctors and their expertise. That’s what made part of this sooo hard. Trusting them or trusting my gut instinct??

      I didn’t think that hospital doctor’s diagnosis was right. It didn’t make sense or feel right, but he’s the doctor.

      It was rather disheartening to find out he was wrong, but the consolation is at least I know my gut was right. ❤️

      I’m in the process of reading a book that is so AMAZING. I’ve had a hunch about something and this book may confirm it. I recently asked an MD to test me for it and she said no.

      Now I’ve got to find someone who will. ❤️ Hoping pieces are coming together, but if the time isn’t right, I’ll wait.

      Thank you for being SO darn sweet.

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      • Keep looking till you find someone who will do the test. I used to work in medical records and I always tell people be your own advocate and that doctors are human and can make mistakes. The trick is to find one who does not think he/she are God and know everything.
        I think a good tea time followed by pizza would be awesome!

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        • Oh, you worked in medical records? I certainly understand that people are doing the best they can with the knowledge they have. It’s just hard to tell sometimes what to believe.

          I had an MD I LOVED for 11 years. She quit and her practice closed in June of 2015. Which left me without an MD when all this went down. How many times I wish I could’ve called her this past year. But, I’m on the lookout for another one. :) Maybe I’ll get lucky and find someone similar. 😊

          Thank you for your encouragement and insights. Means so much!

          Tea, pizza, and small town talking is right up my alley. Let’s do it! ☀️

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  8. Life is definitely like a roller-coaster ride…and honestly, I used to love them when I was younger, can’t get on them anymore. It gets me dizzy. haha. I love your positive attitude and your winning desire to overcome anything that gets in your way!

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  9. I’m sorry to hear about your troubles, but I’m glad to hear about your strength. Every sunrise is a good day. Every time little bit stands there, arms out to be picked up is a good day. Every time the sunflowers turn with the light is a good day. Every time you and your husband sit outside and watch the sun go down is a good day. Every time I read a post from you it’s my good day. Stay strong sis, I’m with you.

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  10. I agree with the others, this is sad and shocking and powerful and positive – and makes me angry too. I also can empathise, I won’t go into my story, but suffice to say I got fed up waiting around in bed day after day, month after month, year after year to suddenly get better whilst in a fog of medication that neither cured nor improved but made things worse. I took control. The pills went, I gave up gluten and dairy, I went the complementary therapy route. In addition, I did relaxation and meditation, I also did The Journey, The Artist’s Way, kept a gratitude journal and so on and so on. My spirits rose, my perspective changed from despair to looking forward. My weak body thanked me for all of it. My problems are not your problems, just wanted to give moral support and encourage you in your own path. ☺️

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    • Oh my goodness. Now isn’t that something? We’ve been in similar boats it seems. I totally understand all those emotions you mentioned. Been through them all. I’m sorry to hear you’ve been down a similar path. I am absolutely sooo grateful that you told me. I love that you went the complementary therapy route. I’m on that path as well. This journey is why I asked you all those questions about Candida a while back. Candida is part of the puzzle, but still searching. The problem around here is there aren’t any functional doctors.

      I’ve tried the Wahl’s protocol, Dr. Axe’s leaky gut healing diet, the elimination diet, GF, soy free, etc. But, somethings still missing. I just know something is off. So I’ll keep looking. :)

      I haven’t heard of The Journal or the Artist’s Way, so I’ll look into those. I did yoga until doctors told me not to! ❤️

      Thank you for the moral support. I love that you offered encouragement! It’ll help carry me on my journey! 😊

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      • I found I had to do a lot of work on the emotional stuff before I could make any physical progress. The Journey is by Brandon Bays. It is very powerful and she recommends either doing it in a specialised group or with someone close. I did it on my own (of course!) and the emotions that came up were almost too powerful to bear but I had a real epiphany. I’ve done it twice more since then (but not for a few years since) and as a consequence been able to let a lot of things go that I was holding onto. I don’t have MS, my problems are muscular-skeletal (haha ‘ms’ in lower case!) I have a post scheduled soon about turmeric. It has been shown to help treat candida, or at least its active ingredient, curcumin.

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        • Oh yes! The emotional side… The side most of us would probably like to leave in the dust!

          I admire you for bringing those feelings to light and being able to set them free. I’d honestly forgotten about how closely related the mind/physical ailments are woven together.

          I can’t wait to read your post on turmeric. I love your recipes and knowledge on healing.

          I also LoVe how by sharing our stories, there’s a chance to help someone in similar shoes. You’ve certainly helped me. 😊💗😊 Thank you!

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          • I was thinking that perhaps for you having done all the eliminations, maybe it’s more about adding as well? Juicing floods your system with micronutrients, all the trace elements as well as the vitamins, minerals, omega fats etc, and helps the body heal at a cellular level. They go direct to the cells bypassing the digestive system. Which, if not functioning properly, can prevent absorption. It has helped with many chronic conditions I had: asthma, skin disease, tinnitus, IBS etc. If you’re interested, follow a nutritionally balanced programme, read how it works etc. I thoroughly recommend Jason Vale and Reboot with Joe. Also try watching Jason Vale’s free YouTube documentary SuperJuiceMe! He took 8 people with chronic conditions, a couple life-threatening, and put them on a juice program to see if there could be improvements where allopathic medicine wasn’t working. It’s very powerful.

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            • Oh, that sounds AMAZING. The food allergies keep piling up! Things I’ve eaten my whole life are suddenly causing issues. The latest, eggs, really threw me for a loop. I’m glad you mentioned the ability of juices to reach the cells. I’ve been having food troubles for quite some time. Can’t figure out WHAT to eat that I won’t react to. I’ll look them up and watch the video. The book I’m reading is so eye opening. It says to EAT FRUIT. One of those Candida diets I was on said No fruit.

              I didn’t eat fruit for like 8 months… Now I see I missed all those nutrients…

              Thanks so much for your help. 💜

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  12. I was pretty shocked reading this but then I shouldn’t be as I waited seven years for a diagnosis of fibromyalgia and possible rheumatoid arthritis. I got so fed up with being passed to different hospital departments that I took charge and took it step by step with the help of many great natural therapists, dietary and lifestyle changes. I do hope you get some answers but there is no guarantee. Take care and lots of hugs to you through the ether.

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    • 7 years??? So, you know crazy roller coaster of mystery illness. I’m glad you took charge and found people to help get the answers.

      You’re absolutely right, there’s no guarantee, yet we remain optimistic and hopeful! Thanks for your story and your hugs! I’ll take them! 😊

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  13. Oh darling, I had no idea. I can’t even begin to imagine how horrible it must have been and still is with your mind wandering…

    My journey to being diagnosed with celiac disease was quite a long one too. It took two years before I had my diagnosis. In my late twenties I lost more than 80% of the hair on my head and 95% of all other hair (including my eyelashes) in under two months. And U’ve had zero regrowth for almost two years. And this is when I’ve learned that the majority of doctors (including the so-called specialists) I’ve ever seen are quacks. Rude quacks.

    Back then I was stick-thin. I always was. I could eat what I wanted to eat and I wouldn’t get fat. Everyone would tell me they envied me. I was skinny and weak – but I thought that’s just the way I was. Until I lost my hair. Since most doctors, specialists included, still think that alopecia is ‘just’ alopecia and that there’s nothing that can be done, I started to look up things online. I spent all my time googling and reading and discussing things with fellow alopecia sufferers on forums. Until, eventually, I found a link between alopecia and celiac disease. In summary, research has shown that a defect on a certain gene is linked to both conditions – and to other conditions like Sjogren’s syndrome which I don’t know much about but wouldn’t be surprised if I have it too because the tell-tale sign is that those who have it can’t produce tears – like me. Anyway, I started to discuss this with several quacks at my former GP practice and with specialists at the hospital. Every single quack said they’d never heard of the research and they don’t think there is a link. So I was refused a gut biopsy on several occasions. And then I went private to have the gut biopsy done. And guess what? The biopsy confirmed I had celiac disease – what I had been suspecting for a while but what no doctor considered possible.

    All the doctors suspected there was something wrong with my thyroid. I knew this wasn’t it and I told them from the beginning that I didn’t think I had any thyroid issues, and after the 4th or so blood test I told every doctor that the tests always came back fine. However, every single doctor wanted to have my blood tested again and again… The quacks were baffled. But I wasn’t.

    Anyway, I then cut out gluten. Completely. And my husband did too. He knew it was important not to cross-contaminate the gluten-free foods with gluteney foods. After only one week I felt better. I couldn’t explain it. I just felt better than usual. Strange! It was only then that I realised in what a poor state my health has been for years. So I stuck to my gluten-free food, I stopped eating out altogether, I started to cook EVERYTHING from scratch – and I became a new person. I used to think my 2 litre water bottle which I took to work with me every day was heavy. But all of a sudden I was lifting six-packs of 2 litre-bottles in and out of the car without any problems. It was… new and strange but it felt good!

    I did gain weight – which is a tell-tale sign of celiac disease. True celiacs will gain weight after switching to a GF diet because the gut will heal and it’ll start to absorb nutrients from food again.

    Anyway, all of a sudden I was fat and bald. I wore wigs, but I hated being fat and bald. But it all turned out OK. After three months on a GF diet my hair started to grow back. It started out as peach fuzz, but the peach fuzz turned into hair. It was the best thing ever. About three months later I went out without a wig for the first time My hair was short and I couldn’t bother to style it (I never did and I probably never will) so it looked funny, no doubt. But then I experienced the new best thing ever. Feeling the sun and the wind on my head and in my hair again was the ultimate feeling of… freedom. Freedom from a conditions that crippled my life for years. I’ll never forget that feeling. It really was the best thing ever – and it still is. I think it even healed all the psychological scars.

    Anyway, I didn’t want this comment to be all about me, but the message is – keep researching. Try to solve the puzzle yourself. No one (that includes all the doctors in the world) knows your body better than you. And do not ever accept a doctor’s diagnosis which you believe is wrong. Try to stay positive. Try to find which condition(s) is responsible for your ill health. And then go and see a doctor and ask them to investigate what you think it could be. It might be something as simple as a food allergy (I became allergic to avocados after eating them for years and it was so bad I thought I was dying – the pain was so bad I cried for hours and I started to eat once every day only because of the eight-hours pain marathon I went through after each meal). It might be something else. Try to keep a food diary – and keep track of how you feel. That way you can recognise a pattern if there is one. And try to eliminate certain foods from your diet for a short while. I don’t think these classic elimination diets are great, but why not try not to eat aubergine for a week and see how you feel. Next week you could do a tomato-free week. And then you could try to go dairy-free for a week.

    Food sensitivities and allergies can ruin one’s health. I know! Sure, such a sensitivity is only one option of many. But you have control over what you eat, so this is an easy way to find out whether certain foods cause a problem. I know you’re taking folate and I remember you’ve tested positive for this mthfr-gene. But if there’s anything else you can figure out yourself, you should try it. And don’t ever give up. If you have to annoy a doctor, then you need to do that too!

    I really hope you can find the reason for all of your health issues. And I hope it turns out to be something that can be dealt with easily. Keep me updated. If I can help or if you need a shoulder, I’m here.

    Love you, darling! ♥

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    • Oh my Lord, girl. I had NO idea you’d been through anything like this. I’ll never be able to THANK YOU for sharing this with me. Ever. When I got to the part about your peach fuzz coming in, tears gushed. I’ve got to meet you now! I don’t believe in accidents. I figured there was a reason we “met” in this vast world of 200 million bloggers. I’m so thank for you.

      So, you KNOW this journey. You know the hours spent researching and reading. I’ve been trying to figure out what is up for so long it seems like 2nd nature to have a book in my hand. :)

      I’ve been GF for a year and a half. I’ve done the elimination diet. Anything that has a Free on it, I’ve done. I’m still digging for answers…

      I think my biggest lesson has been that trying to force answers when I want them, doesn’t really work. It seems like more of a process. I’m hopeful that we’ll get things figured out. And, I’m just sooooooooooooo blessed that even though it’s been rough, I walked out of that hospital and I’ve had 365 days and counting. Now you know why I’m such a sucker for the homeless and for butterflies and flowers. It’s because I’m still here. Love you, too my friend!

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    • Hi friend, I’ve been thinking of you. I never heard back after my reply to your amazing support you shared here. Wondered if maybe you didn’t get a notification or didn’t see that I responded. Then I got kind of worried that maybe I freaked you out with all that “we met for a reason” stuff.

      I was just excited to find someone else who knows this journey of unexplained illness. Hope you are doing well. ❤️

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      • Hey sweets, I did send another comment though. Quite a long one, actually. I think due to its length it was probably caught by your spam filter thingy in WP admin.

        I’m so sorry you were worried! Sending more hugs and kisses (save a few for later!) across the pond. :)

        I too think things happen for a reason – friendships included! But I don’t think anything is pre-determined. I think anyone’s ‘destiny’ changes all the time. And we must always do our best to accomplish things, and to make friends, or to be rewarded with good luck.

        Anyway, next time I keep my responses short. Well, shorter. Well, let’s see if I can limit myself to a certain number of words… OK, I think I can’t limit myself to anything, but I’ll try. :D

        How have you been the past week? I was busy applying for a job I want. It took me two full days (the entire weekend) just to do my application – because I wanted it to be as near-perfect as possible. So I haven’t keep able to catch up with my blogging buddies and I even recycled two old posts of mine…

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        • You responded??? I had no idea. I don’t see it in my spam or anywhere. Hmm. Here I’ve been thinking I made you upset…

          I didn’t know there was a length limit on comments. I wonder if there’s a setting for that. I’ll have to look.

          I love what you said about destiny changing. A left turn or a slight right can change all the scenery. I wish I would’ve worded my first comment differently. People that know me would’ve known I was just “talking” and so excited. I forget that doesn’t really carry over online. Ha.

          Been doing good here. You sound excited about this job possibility! Fingers crossed, toes crossed. :) Hope you have a great week. It’s the last day of summer here. Sun is setting. ☀️

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          • Aww, Jess! No, you didn’t upset me at all. How could you? You’re too kind and thoughtful. xx

            I hate it when my comments don’t get posted. I don’t know if there is a limit on characters of words in comments. Might be? I was also wondering if there is some kind of a time limit. When I wrote long comments, I have breaks in between – for lunch or for dinner. Comments not being posted is something that happened to me before. One of my blogging buddies, Catherine, is battling hair loss too. She’s over 60 and her hair is thinning. It’s probably female pattern hair loss – so her hair won’t grow back – but this kind hair loss is usually limited, so she won’t be bald. And she’s doing really well with her hair pieces and wigs. She too is taking her destiny into her own hands! Anyway, what I wanted to say is that I had this major comment written – but it wasn’t posted. I was really annoyed and I’m pretty sure my eyes twitched – and I had to write the entire thing (albeit a shorter version) again. What I remember is that I did get a simple message saying “Your comment could not be posted.”

            You know what? From now on I’ll write my comments in Word and then I copy and paste them into the comment section. I used to do that ages ago when I was a member of a music forum. The web site was quite buggy and it would cause the browser to shut down. I have no idea how many comments and personal messages I had to type again and again – until I started to write everything in Word. I’ll go back to that now.

            So I’ll write my response to you again. I remember most of what I said and I promise you get the full ‘airhead’ rant too. :)

            And about destiny changing, I know you know that every decision in life can change your course. :)

            Yeah, I really want that job! I might not know for two months if they’d even consider me, but I really, really want that job. It would give me more flexibility in regards to how much I work, when I work and where I work. My husband works from home every day. And I envy him. But I only have two homeworking days per week, and my job requires a lot of reading, analysing and writing, so being in the office can be quite stressful when I have to go through a 2,000+ pages file. Don’t be shocked, I’m not reading everything, but I always need to look for certain information and I can’t miss things, otherwise I’d have to go through the file again… so yeah, I really want the other job. I could work from home most of the time, and if I want to work 15 hour today and only 5 hours tomorrow, it would be perfectly OK! We’ll see. I’ll let you know some time around Thanksgiving…

            I’ll try my best to enjoy the next few days – which are the last days of summer over here too. Usually September means cardies or hoodies, but I think so far this September has been the warmest ever. The change of seasons is definitely coming, but hey ho, we can look forward to next summer. :)

            I’ll write more tomorrow. Mwah! xx

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            • First of all, you are a sweetheart. Just sayin!

              “Your comment will not be posted”? That would make my eye twitch, too. Where’d it go? Makes me wonder what happens to them?

              Well, after I, too, wrote you a giant message back and AFTER I posted it, I realized it didn’t go on “reply”. It went on as a full comment. To no one! Ha! Delete!!

              Your friend sounds like an amazing person. :) Man, I can’t believe you do that much reading a day. And, still blog!! :) I hope you do get that job!

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              • This comment stuff baffles me too sometimes. I’ve responded to many comments today, and I had one that couldn’t be posted. But it was two words only, so I didn’t mind typing them again.

                Anyway, yeah, I do a lot of reading and writing (well, typing). But I don’t have a telly, so I have more time to do other stuff. Plus, I’ve learned not to use my nails when I type, so I can paint my nails in between and I can let them dry while I type… :D

                Liked by 1 person

  14. I can picture you on top of that fast-moving ride with a smile plastered over your face and your arms raised in the air. Your eyes are wide open and your hair is flying about. You are laughing (because you just dropped your bag of Rolos all over the riders below). Never fear! You have an extra bag in your other pocket….so life, and the ride, goes on because you’ve just made all those around you smile once again. That’s how you roll, my dear, YOU MAKE US SMILE with your outlook and determination. I’m so glad we’ve “met.” <3

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  15. Jessica, I was reeling from this post and have now read it twice. What a horrendous and terrifying experience. Sounds like such madness; so many diagnosis, suggested surgery. How are you now?? Or don’t you want to say? I’m seriously worried! 😞. Here in the UK it is more an issue of doctors not taking symptoms seriously and I’ve at the receiving end of that which is also scary. Jessica, my warmest wishes to you and hope you are on the road to recovery and your family and yourself coping with this dreadful shock.❤️❤️

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    • Hi sweetie. It’s been a bumpy road for sure. I’m sure I’ve experienced every feeling about all this that you can think of. It’s actually like the stages of grief. Disbelief, anger, sorrow, losing faith, finding faith, breathing, and counting blessings.

      I am doing ok. Still don’t have any answers, but I figure they’ll come when they’re meant to come. Thank you for the wishes! 😊💜❤️

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  17. Life definitely is a roller coaster ride Jess, there’s no denying that. But I had no idea of how big a ride you were on.
    I knew you were going through some issues, but I had no idea of how much hardship and stress you’ve been through. I’m so sorry for all the angst and worry and pain you (and your family) have suffered. Doctors have no right to play God but I’m so glad that you’ve been able to stay strong despite their misdiagnosis and that you’ve come through this year with so much grace. And with such an amazing and positive attitude. :)
    Know that I’m thinking of you my dear sweet friend and that I’m sending you big hugs of friendship, love and support from down under. xo

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    • My dearest Miri, seems like you’ve been sitting in the roller coaster car right behind me with all of your mum’s medical issues. You know all about the long roads of uncertainty.

      I’ve learned so many things about life and what’s really important, you know? I appreciate your thoughts and friendship more than I can ever explain. ❤️

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        • Thanks, Miri. I hope your weekend is filled with many smiles. Maybe you can do one of those blowing a kiss to your mum’s cheek for me? I bet she came to expect it.

          Can’t imagine how much you miss her! A friend had lunch with my mom (who lives 5 hours away from me) yesterday. Then, the friend sent me a picture of them all at lunch.

          There was my momma, smiling in the picture!! I smiled and nearly cried at the same time. I miss her so much and she’s here. I admire you for still being able to breathe without yours. Love and hugs to you, sweet girl!

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