For the past eight weeks I’ve been on a journey, a spiritual healing journey.
While on vacation in August, I stood in the ocean and felt a peace wash over me. It was like the ocean crawled right into my head and said, “There, there. Now don’t you worry.” From that point on, things have snowballed.
As soon as we got home, I saw there was a video about an upcoming transformation class for moms. The reviews said wonderful things about improved marriages and improved family relationships.
During the introductory video, I wept. Then, the gal mentioned that the class would be like a dolphin pod. We had just seen dolphins next to our boat while on the island.
Pre-vacation, I was spending countless hours every day for months searching for medical answers for me and my family. My poor mind was completely bogged down in soooooooo much worry that Fear set up residence.
Has that ever happened to you? Have you ever been so stuck in the internal dialogue of what if’s and nevers, that it’s almost easy to live there?
Eeks. What an exhausting place to be.
Well, I went back and forth on whether to take the class or not:
- We don’t really have the extra money
- PayPal? I don’t have PayPal! Is it safe? Surely, it’s not safe.
- I don’t have time. I’m too busy fixing everything and everyone.
- There’s no time. I’m researching.
- Could we swing it? Oh Lord no! I can’t spend that on myself.
- 3 days a week for 8 weeks? Plus stuff on the other days???
Every excuse there ever was, popped up. I actually thought about not doing it. I came really close to not signing up, but then I did.
OMG, you guys! Best. Decision. Ever.
I never thought my life could be transformed in 56 days, but I am telling you, it changed.
It took some serious uncrusting of limited beliefs, some days of digging around in the past, resurrecting some heartbreaking memories, and even analyzing old thought patterns. Ugh. But, the beauty of all that digging brought me an immense sense of freedom and peace.
During Abundance week, I had some huge revelations. Turns out that Abundance is different than what I thought it was. Instead of being an accumulation of a, b, and c, it’s actually a free flowing energy source.
Think about that for a second. Abundance has the power to constantly come into our lives if there’s nothing blocking it.
What blocks it? Well apparently all the things I’ve been carrying around. Grudges, old heartaches, being mad at somebody, painful memories, and such. All those things I thought were over and done with that have resurfaced over the past twenty some years.
So, for several weeks, I have been looking forgiveness straight in the eye. I even revisited a few years from my early 20’s that were extremely difficult for me.
It turns out a story I had been carrying around all these years had another factor I wasn’t aware of. I was finally graced with the truth and in the days that followed, my tears just ran.
The tears have been absolutely freeing for me and they have fallen. My teacher mentioned life being like an onion and what a great analogy that really is. Seems like we all have layers of life experiences that make up who we are.
But, it doesn’t stop there. If Abundance is flowing, we have an unlimited potential of being absolutely anything.
With that said, it leads me back to where I started eight weeks ago when the class began. My goal for the class was simple and easy to remember. It fit me to a T and was exactly what I needed to do.
Here’s to letting go.