Letting Go

For the past eight weeks I’ve been on a journey, a spiritual healing journey.

While on vacation in August, I stood in the ocean and felt a peace wash over me. It was like the ocean crawled right into my head and said, “There, there. Now don’t you worry.” From that point on, things have snowballed.

As soon as we got home, I saw there was a  video about an upcoming transformation class for moms. The reviews said wonderful things about improved marriages and improved family relationships.

During the introductory video, I wept. Then, the gal mentioned that the class would be like a dolphin pod. We had just seen dolphins next to our boat while on the island.

Pre-vacation, I was spending countless hours every day for months searching for medical answers for me and my family. My poor mind was completely bogged down in soooooooo much worry that Fear set up residence.

Has that ever happened to you? Have you ever been so stuck in the internal dialogue of what if’s and nevers, that it’s almost easy to live there?

Eeks. What an exhausting place to be.

Well, I went back and forth on whether to take the class or not:

  • We don’t really have the extra money
  • PayPal? I don’t have PayPal! Is it safe? Surely, it’s not safe.
  • I don’t have time. I’m too busy fixing everything and everyone.
  • There’s no time. I’m researching.
  • Could we swing it? Oh Lord no! I can’t spend that on myself.
  • 3 days a week for 8 weeks? Plus stuff on the other days???

Every excuse there ever was, popped up. I actually thought about not doing it. I came  really close to not signing up, but then I did.

OMG, you guys! Best. Decision. Ever.

I never thought my life could be transformed in 56 days, but I am telling you, it changed.

It took some serious uncrusting of limited beliefs, some days of digging around in the past, resurrecting some heartbreaking memories, and even analyzing old thought patterns. Ugh. But, the beauty of all that digging brought me an immense sense of freedom and peace.

During Abundance week, I had some huge revelations. Turns out that Abundance is different than what I thought it was. Instead of being an accumulation of a, b, and c, it’s actually a free flowing energy source.

Think about that for a second. Abundance has the power to constantly come into our lives if there’s nothing blocking it.

What blocks it? Well apparently all the things I’ve been carrying around. Grudges, old heartaches, being mad at somebody, painful memories, and such. All those things I thought were over and done with that have resurfaced over the past twenty some years.

So, for several weeks, I have been looking forgiveness straight in the eye. I even revisited a few years from my early 20’s that were extremely difficult for me.

It turns out a story I had been carrying around all these years had another factor I wasn’t aware of. I was finally graced with the truth and in the days that followed, my tears just ran.

The tears have been absolutely freeing for me and they have fallen. My teacher mentioned life being like an onion and what a great analogy that really is. Seems like we all have layers of life experiences that make up who we are.

But, it doesn’t stop there. If Abundance is flowing, we have an unlimited potential of being absolutely anything.

With that said, it leads me back to where I started eight weeks ago when the class began. My goal for the class was simple and easy to remember. It fit me to a T and was exactly what I needed to do.

Here’s to letting go. 

47 thoughts on “Letting Go

  1. Oh wow!
    I’m glad you managed to let go of your baggage.

    I think it’s great that you did this for yourself. You have such a big heart, a heart of gold, and you’d go to the end of the world and back for other people – so it was about time you did something for yourself too.

    Sending you big hugs across the pond!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Awww!! That made me miss you more than I already do!! Thank you sooooo much for saying that. It’s definitely been a different sort of adventure for me- doing deep healing spiritual work for myself. I never thought I had time or needed it. Wrong!! :)

      Liked by 1 person

    • You are such a sweetheart. I have missed you immensely. You are always kind to me and are willing to chit chat. Thank you so much for reading this. It took a while for it to come together. Words tangled up for a while. Then, I just sort of tuned into what I would want to read and it fell out. LOVE that. I have missed seeing your posts. Hope you are happy and healthy. I will try to get caught up reading soon. Hugs, ,my friend.

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    • Hi, I have missed chatting with you. Love what you said about the freedom to be your true self. At the core of the class is unconditional love for self. Lots of stuff has the ability to get in the way of loving and accepting ourselves at times, but really, it is the essence of everything. You are right, letting go is hard. Seems like it’s been engrained in my thinking so long that I need to carry those bags of junk around forever. No more, thank goodness. The amazing thing is, since I have let things go, my husband and kiddo are happier and all my work I did was internal. But, still they noticed. Love that. Hope you are well. How’s your dog?

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  2. Good for you 👏🏻 I too went on a journey in my 50s, I read Simple Abundance by Sara Ban Breathnach and I did The Journey by Brandon Bays. As you say, so very powerful and I too found that I saw my story from a different perspective and what I had believed to be the case was in fact the opposite. I too let go of a lot of hurtful baggage, spiritually confronted those responsible and let the tears flow. It was and continues to be such a healing experience. I also did The Artist’s Way. So pleased for you 💜

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hey friend, I am sooooo glad you read this. That means a lot to me. I love what you said about seeing your story from a different perspective and what you had believed was the opposite. Isn’t that crazy???? I thought one thing for nearly 30 years, then found out 10 days ago, I didn’t know one huge fact. Just that alone, brought more healing than I can even express. I spent years down the dungeons of “not good enough” and had so many struggles. Now to find out I did actually matter is unbelievably healing.

      I haven’t heard of Simple Abundance, The Journey, or the Artist’s Way. I will definitely be looking into them. Right now, I am in another class that started yesterday. It’s on Mother’s Intuition and lasts 7 weeks. I can’t wait to see what I learn. Then, there is another course in December. Hope you are doing well and have a wonderful day!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. So wonderful Jessica and I’m so happy for you. Seems we’ve both been on a very similar journey and path in life. Like you, the past six weeks for me has been all about letting go, of old beliefs, self doubts and fears. Its amazing the changes I feel inside and all the “signs’ I’ve seen (even from mum) now that my eyes are open again. It’s liberating when we feel the abundance and know that we’re supported in the Universe. And it’s amazing when we understand that these changes come from inside us and that we’re the creators of our own destiny. So, so happy for you my darling girl xo

    Liked by 1 person

    • OMG Miri!!!!! We are soul sisters. I cannot believe you have going through similar things an ocean away. Yes, yes, and yes to everything you said. My eyes are open once again and I am listening to my intuition that has been ignored way too much. I am soooo thrilled for you that you are getting signs from your beautiful mum. Oh how I miss her. She is the reason we became friends. The Universe and Abundance are like square dance partners– they keep things going round and round. I am sooo happy to hear from you. Love you, honey. I am in another class now. A 7 week Mother’s Intuition class that started yesterday. Can’t wait to see what I learn.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Wishing only the best things for you Jessica. May your life be easier, may your mind be open, and my your heart be free.
    Sending you love, and praying that your ‘freedom’ from what has been holding you in one place continue through your life, forever.
    ~ Cobs. x 🌻

    Liked by 1 person

    • You always have the words that sooth my soul. Thank you. I have missed you. How are things going your way?

      Oh girl, it’s been freeing for sure. I don’t think I have ever cried more in my life. Let it run. Years ago, I went through a situation that ended rather abruptly and I’ve spent all these years thinking I was easily forgotten. Found out I wasn’t forgotten at all. Monumental moments. Love you and big hugs from an ocean away. :)

      Liked by 1 person

    • Hi! Soooo great to hear from you. Thank you. It’s amazing to dump all that baggage. It didn’t realize how much it was weighing me down until I let it go. Thank you for reading. That means a lot to me! 💕

      Liked by 1 person

  5. oh my sweet girl-I am so happy for you. It amazes me that I find unsettled things in myself too-from decades ago, that I would have sworn were long over. This has just happened again, for me! Oh but the release is liberating. I love you and wish you the best and I love the abundance theory.

    Liked by 1 person

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