For weeks, I’ve been standing in an imaginary knee deep scenario, stuck. My knees aren’t really stuck, but my writing is.
My post about the fair was preceded the exact same morning with three hours of writing. The post I was working on contained the subjects of “I don’t know how to this!!! I don’t know how to write about loss one day and normal stuff the next.”
Those words did not flow out easily. I yanked and pulled and made them come out. They were about:
- what it’s like to talk about loss and crying and missing someone, then not knowing how to change the subject
- what it feels like to be stuck in not knowing how to be a carefree type of writer that now feels strapped to loss one minute then wanting to share about travel the next
- about being a good writer like my great grandma, while at the same time, not knowing how to carry forward in this blog and feeling a bit vulnerable because I’ve shared a lot and don’t know how to continue writing
I did not hit ‘publish’ on that post. Instead, I hit the backspace button and erased every single word. Immediately afterwards, I wrote the post about the fair and sent it off into the world.
Why did I back the other post out?
It just didn’t feel right.
I couldn’t get the words to match what I wanted to say.
Bottom line: I’m trying to find my way in my writing. I am finding my way through loss. I just need to find my way somehow in both.
Thank you for reading. You’ve been so great in offering support during all this. I appreciate it so very, very much.
© COPYRIGHT 2022 Unmeasured Journeys
** all writing and photos are mine