Gratitude:
- rethinking things
- trusting myself
- taking a leap when what I really want to do is run
- encourage-rs who have my back
- sticking things out, even when it’s hard
- trusting myself some more
I’ve almost quit two things recently. Art and bowling.
Seriously. Twice at the bowling alley, I have said out loud, “I am going to quit!” The first time was a Saturday night when my son, husband, and I were practicing. I could not get anything right!
Gutter. Gutter. Gutter.
So frustrating.
Gutter. Gutter. Gutter.
The second time at bowling was sooooo embarrassing. I’d been practicing with my son’s ball and the finger and thumb holes are smaller. So, I get up there on my first throw of the night, brought my ball back and…
Dropped it.
As in backwards.
I heard someone say, “Oh Jessi” in a sort of ‘what in the world are you doing’ tone, then I turned around to see all these really great bowlers staring at me.
I could’ve crawled into a hole.
I almost walked out.
I mean, come on! I dropped the ball. I’ve gotten LAST place 25 out of 27 games. Everyone there knows I’m new. Hello. I’m sick of being last.
Enter art. I LOVE art. I make some pretty cool and unique things with vintage jewelry, but lately trying to figure out what to do with it after I make it has been wearing me out.
There are so many options and weighing the choices is simply exhausting. On top of of that, I’ve been trying to find my value in a world already jam packed with art.
Eeks.
All of that has got me to thinking about my momma and her art. She was an amazing artist. She never sold any of it, but she blissfully kept on creating it. I’ve been trying to figure out if that is my fate and purpose too, or if my pieces are meant to be with someone else.
Yesterday, I made a choice. I chose. I decided. That ever happen to you? Where simply deciding brings such peace and a joy that springs forth like a bloom?
With my art, I’m going to try something new. A new place, just to see how it goes.
I decided I’m not going to give up on bowling either! In fact, I got a new ball. I’ve been practicing my steps at home and in the yard and I’m going to work with a coach this week.
All those gutters and that dropped ball aside, I am getting better. My scores were in the 50’s, now they’re around 100. In only 9 weeks. Pretty darn good, even with the embarrassing ball drop.
My hunch is that losing my momma this year is at the root of all this indecision. Grief can really seem to pour on the doubt. But, I think my momma would be pulling for me in both bowling and art.
With that in mind, I believe I’ll keep right on going. Perhaps my art will find some homes and maybe I’ll even turn that lowest score of 25 out of 27 games into the highest score in 25 out of 27 games.
Anything is possible.
If you’d like to read my art post it’s called “I’m Going For It” and it’s on https://jeweledagainbyjessica.com.
Thanks for reading!
Jessica
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Unmeasured Journeys 
Good for you! Just shifting gears a little opens up whole new horizons. Love your jewelry! And having fun and enjoying it all is what counts. Great post <3
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Hi Lisa! Thank you, it’s fun to make. That’s a great point about shifting gears. I got stuck in the muck. Yay for having fun and enjoying it! 💕💕💕
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I know nothing about bowling … but for me the score of 100 sounds so perfect 😉. Good on you for practising and going back – you are one brave lady! As for your art – I already read your next post and you are creating lovely pieces … it must feel good to see your own artwork on that shelve! Good luck on the bowling and your art – just the fact that you didn’t gave up, make you a winner already!
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Hi! That’s a great point. 100 does seem like a lot. Most people there get 150-200, so I’m not that far behind. I hadn’t thought of it like that! I’m half way there, haha. I’ve been reading a physics book on bowling. It’s all about how math ties into trying to knock down 10 bowling pins 60 feet away with a 15 pound ball. Haha. That’s what I signed up for when my husband asked me if I’d consider being in a league! So, every Tuesday night, I throw a ball at pins and see how many I can get. Quite funny, now that I think about it!
Thank you! Yes, it did feel good to see my stuff in there. After I set it up, I walked by it to see what it’d look like to someone else. Pretty cool concept. Thanks for the luck! I’ll take it! Thank you. Carrying forward in both felt like the right thing to do.
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Perhaps I should not laugh about the bowling but it brought back so many memories of when someone convinced me years and years ago to join a bowling league team. My average was 77 when I started so I had a huge handicap. By the end of the year I was averaging 121 and was given an award as the most improved bowler. As to the gutter balls….look on the bright side…those gutters need dusting perhaps???? Go out there and have fun. Enjoy it and that makes a world of difference. Do not compare yourself to anyone else….ever! You will improve!
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Hi Faye! I loved reading that! Thank you so much! I love that you were in a bowling league and that you had a huge handicap!!! That’s me!!! Hahaha about gutters needing a dusting. Maybe they do!!! I love that your score improved so much! That’s great! And the award?? That’s fabulous! I’m so happy you shared this with me. I’ll remember it when I step up to the line tomorrow night. We do a Tuesday night mixed league. It’s my first league ever… Also, thanks for the bit about comparing- I do that sometimes. I will try to be more mindful about it.
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One time my bowling ball actually went into the lane next door. I’m not even sure how that happened! Another time I was on stage (at the community college where I worked), and I had to throw a T-shirt out to the audience. My throw didn’t even make it off the stage. The whole place laughed, so I did, too. What would you say to a friend in your place – about her art or her bowling? That is what you should say to yourself. :)
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Awww!! That’s super sweet. I bet you’re a great momma to your kids. I never even considered what I’d say to a friend… then saying it to me. That got my eyes all teary. I’m going to do that, thank you. Ok, my tear ran down my cheek. I really should be kinder to myself.
Thank you for telling me about your bowling ball and the T-shirt throwing experience. We can overcome so many things. Even little things that seem huge and embarrassing in the moment.
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I can relate! Some days you just have to accept that it’s not your day, give yourself a break, and try again! ☺
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Yesssssss!!!! Exactly!! Thank you. ❤️
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I will pull for you, Jessica! I’ve got to say you have tenacity and the will to do things that most of us would’ve given up on. You go girl!
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That’s incredibly kind!!! Thank you so much! I never even considered tenacity and will!! I LOVE that!!! I just got back from town- I rented a booth for my art in a local resale shop. I set it up today! I was so nervous pulling into the parking lot! Ha. But, I did it! ❤️
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I’m so glad you didn’t give up! Art is creative, and creativity can be complicated. There are so many options, that it takes a while to find the path that is right for you. You just have to keep exploring until it feels “just right.” As for bowling, it’s a matter of practice and training, I’ll bet. You’ll get better! And really, the point is to have fun….and take pride in your determination to learn a new game!
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Wow! What you said about both those things is spot on! That’s a great point about bowing and fun. Fun tends to get trampled on when gutters take over. I’ll have to keep in mind that I am learning a new game!!! I forgot all about that! Thank you!
You’re so right about “creativity can be complicated.” I hadn’t thought of it that way, but it sure can be. My dilemma has been, I just want to make stuff, I don’t want to get stuck in the “what do I do with its.” And, that’s exactly where I’ve been stuck. Love what you said about exploring. Thank you so much!
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You are AMAZING! Perseverance over perfection. Never giving up. You’re a role model for those of us that are runners!!! Thank you for wearing your heart on your sleeve and bravely sharing all of your ups and downs. I love this post and the fact that you keep on trying and doing and learning and growing. Big cheers on never giving up!
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Mind if I fill this whole space up with solid hearts????? ❤️ I just might!! Thank you, sweet one! Every single sentence touches my heart on many levels. And, “heart on sleeve”, oh my. Remember how I’ve struggled with that all my life… love the part you said about runners. Our tendency is to run, isn’t it? But we don’t!!! Thank you for this!
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