This Wonderful House

Have you ever moved? Ugh. It’s sooooooo much work.

For days, I’ve been in this big frantic panic to get my house completely perfect in case someone wants to look at it to buy it.

The selling market in our area is super good right now and I want my beautiful house to look really nice for someone, so I’ve practically been knocking myself out to get all of our “life” out of it.

Seems like there’s a lot of pressure to fix a house up just so, to sell it. The internet is full of advice on everything from curb appeal to how to arrange the cupboards in order to sell a house.

I’ve completely fallen for it, too. Yesterday, I packed up every nook and cranny of my pick up and hauled our stuff to a storage unit in town. It’s not the first load that’s gone there either!

Last night on Facebook, I posted the picture below of my cleaned up kitchen cupboard. I was so proud of myself for organizing it so it’d look beautiful for someone else.

That’s pretty ironic and makes me chuckle now, because, come on! My cabinets never look this good. Who has time for this kind of fancy? Ha ha.

This morning, a friend commented about how in the old days there wasn’t such a fuss to get a house ready to sell. She mentioned that people just came over, and if they liked it, they bought it. They sold four houses that way.

Now there’s a concept. Live your life, in your house, with your things, and invite buyers in. For real? Even with dust on the piano and crumbs on the counter?

This reminder came at the perfect moment. When Little Bit was a baby, someone with grown kids gave me some excellent advice. She said:

‘I wish I would have played with my boys more when they were little and vacuumed less. I was always so worried about having a clean house. They grew up so fast.”

I’ve kept that with me and I try to live by it. I’m usually not a stickler for housework, it can wait. Little boys are only little for so long. Dust isn’t going anywhere!

So, my friend’s comment today really got my thinking about what kind of message I’m sending not only to my kiddo, but to myself, if I feel like I have to hide my life away in some storage unit so that strangers can see my home?

Then, something shifted and it suddenly dawned on me that I don’t have to do that. I can choose to just live here until we don’t. I can choose to let Little Bit play and scatter his things about until we sign on some line that we live somewhere else.

What a gift this is! I sure don’t want him having 9 great years here, but only remembering some perfect version of our house with none of our things in it before we even moved out! Eeks.

So, here’s what I’d love the ad on my house to say:

“Want to see my house? Come on in! Thinking of buying my house? Let’s take a look around. Let me share some stories. Look out the windows. Come back at night and see the stars. Look in my messy cabinets and toy filled rooms. This isn’t a perfectly manicured magazine cover, this is a perfect house. One with wood floors for bare feet. One with views of the neighbor’s old barn and silo. One with a tree in the backyard that’s been struck by lightning many times, but is still standing. This house has been filled with Christmases and birthday parties. The yard has flown kites and been filled with Easter eggs. This house has been a haven and a refuge. It’s kept us warm and dry. It’s been filled with laughter. If you feel at home here, then this is the house for you.”

That’s it!! I’m giving back the “have to’s” and the extreme urgency I’ve been feeling to get everything about selling this house right. It’s already “right!”

Wahoooo! Forget cleaning! Today we are playing cars, reading books, and playing in the hose.

Soon enough, someone else will be doing that here, because I know in my heart, that no matter how many perfect kitchen cupboards I have, this wonderful house will sell itself. ❤️

Divine

You are the most beautiful thing there ever was in this entire world.

Yes, you.

Let me guess, you’re looking side to side, trying to figure out who I’m talking to.

Perhaps you’re even glancing behind you, thinking there could be no possible way I could be talking to you. Trust me, I totally get that.

There have been many times in my life I would have been like, “Who, me?????” “Are you sure?” “That can’t be right.” “I must look like whoever you’re talking about.”

I mean, come on! We’re talking about life here. And, we all know life can be filled with ups and downs, ins and outs, and some serious pot holes.

Beautiful and messy all at once.

A few days ago I had a huge revelation! Gigantic! I was chatting with some friends when this truth hit me and it literally changed everything. In the moments that followed, those sweet souls urged me to write about it, so here goes.

For the past nine months, I’ve been doing some serious inner work and inner healing. Digging around in the details of days gone by has been critical on my path to finding my true self.

I’ve come a loooooooong way. You see, in my early twenties, I went through some pretty rough stuff. Needless to say, I’ve spent many years trying to make sense of that time and let it go. (You can read about Letting Go here, if you like.)

Some things like yoga, self-help books. breath work, prayers, and spiritual classes have helped me work through that time period in my life. Recently, forgiveness has been a key factor. But, honestly, forgiveness wasn’t the big cure all that I thought it’d be.

You know what I mean? Forgiving somebody is a really monumental thing- it can take years to get up the nerve to forgive and it takes serious guts to even think about doing it.

So, when I looked backwards and forgave many things, I thought I was done and that chapter was closed. Um… no. Things kept coming up anyway.

Really??? Really????

Last week, while walking to my mailbox, I suddenly remembered myself at age twenty one, completely out of the blue. I hadn’t thought that particular situation in years.

I’ve been meditating a lot, so later, I decided to try a visualization I’d heard about. I imagined myself at age twenty one with a suitcase at my feet.

Ok, that imaginary suitcase was absolutely bulging! I don’t know how it was even still closed. When I opened it up, it was filled with all kinds of things such as:

  • not worthy
  • worries
  • jealousy
  • not good enough
  • too sensitive
  • don’t wear your heart on your sleeve so much
  • guilt
  • shame
  • lonely
  • you don’t do anything right
  • mean words
  • self doubt
  • no self esteem whatsoever
  • nightmares, scars, bruises, and sadness.

Dang!!! That’s a heavy suitcase! And, I’ve been carrying remnants of those things around for twenty plus years?

In the visualization, I started pulling all that crap out, one by one, until that suitcase was empty! Empty! There was not one thing in it. Then, I started filling it back up with:

  • giving
  • loving
  • really smart
  • has faith
  • a good friend
  • compassionate
  • works for God
  • big heart
  • sensitive is a gift
  • worthy
  • full of light
  • kind, sweet, and funny

Omg!! I can’t even tell you how light I felt afterwards. From a visualization! Then, the lesson came.

We pick up stuff and we carry it. Sometimes for ten minutes, sometimes for ten years. But here’s the thing, we don’t have to. We can set stuff down. We can give stuff back.

Why?

Because it was NEVER EVEN OURS.

Sit on that for a second.

What we are is: loving, giving, glittery, all sparkly, hilarious, faithful, understanding, soulful, caring, intelligent, and any other positive word that comes to mind. We are butterflies and sunlight. We are the moon and stars. We are every single thing in this world that is right.

We may have taken on those jagged words, mean comments, or judging eyes, but that’s not who WE are. It never was. Imagine this, trying going back to that time and seeing yourself as a mirror. A pane of reflective glass with a frame. Now imagine all of those things coming towards you, but bouncing off the glass, and going back to where they belong.

They never belonged to us. All that crap is someone else’s.

Freeing, don’t you think?

I want to end this with something really fun we can do together so that you will start to realize that you ARE the most beautiful thing there ever was in this entire world. Practice saying this with me:

“All that junk was never even mine. I am beautiful and I’m divine.”

Thank you for reading. I hope you have a wonderful day.

Jessica