You guys!!!!! I bought the shoes!!! And, not just two pairs! Three!!! (If this makes no sense to you whatsoever, check out yesterday’s post.)
So, after I wrote yesterday, me and Little Bit (who is one inch taller than me, how does THAT happen?) set off on a shoe-finding-adventure. The first store had a couple I kind of liked, but the wrong sizes. The second store had absolutely nothing in my style. And, whoa, baby, in the third store, I struck it rich!!
I spied a pink pair of little tennis shoes. I don’t know if you know this, but I LOVE pink. Like, I have three pink rooms in my house kind of love. I tried them on. I LOVED them, Little Bit LOVED them. The box went into the start of a pile. A PILE. Like, for ME.
Now, I know what you may be thinking, “Geez lady, it’s just shoes, not anything very exciting.” But, to me, this is everything.
Under the pink shoes, wayyyyyy down on the bottom shelf, under something, was a black shoe. Immediately my interest was piqued. I picked it up. Oh my gosh, seriously? Can you instantly fall in love with a pair of shoes????? They were in my size, but the box, it was pretty battered up. It was taped back together and looked rather rough. I tried them on. Still concerned that maybe they were a return, I asked a sales person. Not a return. That box went into the pile.
Down the row we went. Ok, I LOVE flowers, wildflowers in particular- it’s a long story, I’ll tell you later. Suddenly, I saw them! These amazing embossed-with-flowers gems! I tried them on!! They are beautiful and are something I totally had in mind, before I walked in! Seriously? What are the chances that after striking out in two shoes stores, I would walk into the next one and in a single row, find my bestest color AND two others that made me want to jump up and down and clap my hands, IN MY SIZE?
Miracles, my friends. They show up, unannounced sometimes, and offer up a basket of “told you you could do this. Told you you were allowed and worthy and meant for really great things. Even great things like shoes.”
Life experiences can stumble all over us sometimes. They can bruise us up and pull the rug out from under our innate trueness and ability to honor our complete and total selves. I’m pretty sure I am not alone in this notion. For instance, there was a point in my life that I went through some pretty yucky things, like they happened TO me. Someone at that time told me I deserved those things. And, that stuck. For approximately thirty years…. believing I deserved horrible things was pretty darn heavy. The run off from that statement alone, presented ripples in my self confidence and self esteem for longer than I can even explain. It affected everything, even my ability to trust my own gut…
But, here’s the thing. We may believe what we believe until we don’t. Best I can tell, we are all healing from somethin’. Perhaps big, perhaps small. Probably not the same thing from the same time, but that’s a-ok. I figure, we are all in each other’s life for a reason. Whether we have been friends for years, are newly aquainted, or if you are brand new to this site. Being a work in progress can be a glorious, beautiful thing.
Which leads me back to yesterday’s post. Most of my life, I thought I was only deserving of one pair of shoes, even if they hurt my feet, and even if they were totally worn out. How flawed is that? No one deserves bad things or blisters, including me.
Thanks for being here! See you tomorrow!
PS I’ve never even owned shoes like these before!! Woo hoo!!!