Miracles and Gratitude Day 3

Gratitude:

  1. being on a bowling team
  2. a really great bowling alley to bowl at
  3. a scenic drive to the bowling alley- 110 miles round trip

My dad, who lives 8 hours from me, has bowled on Thursday league nights for over 40 years. Love that! My husband has bowled leagues for 9 years. This is my first league. I am really enjoying it.

Miracle photos:

Miracle number 1:

Having a bowling team to give gifts to! Aren’t these cool? I ordered these from Etsy for our team and my husband’s men’s team.

team bowling towels I ordered

Miracle number 2:

I bought new bowling shoes for me, but they’re too tight. So, I was renting shoes. One of the bowlers brought me these shoes from home! How kind! They fit and worked really well!

a bowling shoe gift I got

How about you? Seeing any miracles you’d like to share? What 3 things are you grateful for today?

We’re leaving for the bowling alley in about half an hour. Time to have go some fun!

Thank you for reading!

Jessica

© COPYRIGHT 2022 Unmeasured Journeys

** all writing and photos are mine

Rookie Bowler

I rarely write two posts in one day, but this is itching to come out.

Last night at bowling, it went great. My stance was solid. My gutter balls improved. My scored increased. And not once, did I feel like crying.

It just felt better all the way around. Am I pro? Heck no. Does that matter? Absolutely not.

I wrote a post this morning about finding my way. What I realized all the sudden, is that we all are, finding our way.

For a week, I’ve been practicing my bowling stance and steps in hopes that I would somehow skip ‘beginning bowler’ and just be a ‘great bowler.’

That’s fine. But, I see now that there’s a place for the beginner and in the middle-r, too. Same with grief. Some may be in the beginning, some, like me, may be in the middle.

The cool thing about that? There’s room for everyone, wherever we are.

I realized something else. If I was somehow an instantly awesome bowler in one week’s time, I would really miss out on some really amazing stuff.

We are bowling at a new to us bowling alley and don’t know anyone. Everyone there is really good at bowling. I am essentially the rookie. I get last place every week.

But, you know what? Almost everyone in that place has offered me kind words and bowling advice. Heck, last night, someone even brought some bowling shoes from home and gave them to me.

I’m learning. They’re teaching. And that rookie thing? It’s just an ice breaker. If I walked into a new place and was an excellent bowler, there’d probably still be stuff to talk about, but people like to help people, you know?

Same here, on this blog. I write about loss, you extend your hands.

Pretty cool.

Thank you.

Jessica

a flower in my field

© COPYRIGHT 2022 Unmeasured Journeys

** all writing and photo is mine

Balancing Grief

Last week, I was gliding along pretty well, then, bam. Crying. Not crying, actually, but bawling was more like it. It was Tuesday and I was getting ready to fold laundry. I thought a song playing would be nice. So, I tried to think of one.

A song that my momma loved popped into my head. A minute passed and the tears gushed. They didn’t stop for 45 minutes.

On a Tuesday. In the laundry room.

That night, we had our 2nd bowling league night. My game was off. I couldn’t get my balance. My steps wobbled. My ball hugged the gutters. My score stayed low. My eyes fought tears.

In a bowling alley. With 40 other bowlers.

Grief does that. It interrupts steps. It unbalances the balanced. It shows up in a thought or dream. It cascades down on a quiet afternoon, in the middle of chores. It unleashes emotions that were once settled, into tears that are real and raw.

In August, I wrote a post called ‘A Half a Year Today.’ It was about my momma being gone a half a year already. A couple of days ago, when I re-added up on my fingers, I realized I was a month off! August wasn’t half a year ago, September is…

Time in parent loss is a bit like my wobbly bowling steps: all over the place. No wonder I couldn’t believe it had been 6 months, it had only been 5.

So far, it’s only Tuesday, this week is more light hearted. It’s smoother. Last week there were lotsssss of tears and missing her.

This week there’s still lots of missing her, but way less tears. That alone, feels like a more even distribution on the ‘getting through grief’ invisible scale.

What I’m learning is, bowling is all about balance and grief, for me anyway, has a sense of balance, too.

Missing someone starts to blend right into the every days. Missing someone, plus crocodile tears? That interferes with the rhythm.

Tonight, we bowl. My feet feel more solid already, whew!

Thank you for reading. I hope you have a wonderful day.

Jessica

my bowling locker is my favorite number 22
my bowling balls my dad gave me

Lake and Bowling Time

Something pretty cool happened to me recently.

Really?

Seems like all I’ve been doing is writing about loss and grief.

Here’s the thing I’m learning though. I can go through a loss AND live my life, too. Just because I had a loss, it doesn’t mean I’m *required* to be sad all the time.

In fact, I’m not sad all the time. Sometimes? Yes. All the time? No. Remember my post, Switchbacks and Waves? Sadness and grief come in spurts.

So, back to the pretty cool thing.

My husband bowls. In fact, he’s a really good bowler. Have you ever seen those bowlers who can throw a ball, it almost hugs the gutter, then it suddenly curves over and knocks down all the pins?

He can do that.

He has been bowling in leagues for about nine years. One or two nights a week, he bowls.

Me?

I only bowl maybe once a month, when we go as a family. My balls are usually in the gutter, ha ha, and when I do bowl, it’s straight down the middle, I hope.

Several weeks ago my husband super gigantically surprised me when he asked me if I would consider being in a league.

Like, a bowling league. I about fell over! I was so honored that he asked.

Then, approximately two seconds later, the questions started kicking in:

  • Wait, I’m not very good! Who would want to be on MY team?
  • Is there pressure? Because I don’t want any pressure if I’m not doing well.
  • How long is it? What if we sign up and it’s too long?
  • Me? Are you sure? (Is what I was thinking)

Turns out he does want me on his team, there is no pressure because it’s just for fun, and it is long, thirty six weeks, but it’s one night a week.

Heck yeah, sign me up.

We live in a tiny town and to get to the bowling alley we like, it’s fifty miles one way. So, about a hundred miles one night a week. Sounds like a lot, but it’s totally worth it.

It’ll be family time, a chance to make new friends, and it’s something we can do together.

Bonus?

It’s by a lake!!!

Last night we went up there and bowled. I did pretty decent and my husband and son did great. We even got to meet some of the league bowlers we’ll be bowling with in a couple weeks. It was really fun.

About sunset, we went over to the lake. My goodness, it was so beautiful. Sooooooo beautiful. And, so quiet. We just sat there and watched the fish jump and the sky change.

Afterwards, we found a really nice Mexican restaurant and had a wonderful meal.

Tuesday, the first week of September, OUR league starts. Our! How cool is that?

Me, is included in that our!

Even with gutter balls and very up and down scores, I get to be on a team!

I am so excited!

Thanks for reading!

Jessica

the lake near the bowling alley
Clearwater Lake
unofficial angel wings at sunset
our lake view last night

©️Copyright 2022 Unmeasured Journeys