Leaving Home

It’s the last Friday in this house

9 years of adventures here have lead us to a new road

I savor the quiet of this morning

The way the sun fills up the rooms

Shadows from the window panes laid out across my hope chest

Dishes in the sink

Toy cars strewn about

Birds on the feeder outside our back door

The sound of the neighbor’s tractor as he mows

A white cow in the pasture

20 little birds just flew into the back yard, I’m standing at the back door and here they came

Little Bit sleeping in on his last Friday morning in his “will be” old room

Me, in my pajamas, wandering around my house, embracing these moments

That one day I’m going to miss

River

So, there’s this theory that the simple act of noticing miracles can actually increase the amount of miracles we see. And, do you know where I see a ton of miracles?

In nature.

Imagine seeing a gorgeous pink sunset, then noticing the reflection of the clouds on the water, plus feeling the ocean’s breeze on your cheek. Three miracles in one, right there.

To increase my awareness of all that is beautiful around me, I’m going to do a photo challenge of sorts. For the next thirty days I’m going to post one nature photograph a day, just to see what kind of miracles show up.

Today’s beauty is the river.

Jewels in June

Here it is, the last day of May already. I just want to tell you what an amazing month it’s been. Over on Facebook, a friend and I started a revolution called Miracles in May.

Participating was simple: share a picture of what a miracle looks like to you and add a hashtag, #miraclesinmay.

So, what sparked the idea and why miracles?

Well for starters, miracles are like the coolest things ever!! Did you know that:

  • Miracles are possible for everyone? It’s true! Every single one! Even me, even you.
  • That even a small movement on Facebook could change the world? Heck yeah! Let’s say, I posted a picture of a miraculous sunset. If someone hit that Like button, my miracle may have opened them up for receiving miracles! Maybe the next time they saw a sunset, they’d think it was a miracle, too!
  • Where miracles are concerned, it’s all about the noticing. The more you notice, it increases the possibility of more to come in.
  • Miracles can “live” a few steps past surrender, forgiveness, and giving stuff back.
  • Miracles can be tiny or humongous.
  • Sometimes miracles drop our jaws or bring tears to our eyes.
  • Miracles remind us that we are worthy.
  • They can suddenly appear and we may shout out, “Did you see that?” And, if someone else did, that’s a miracle x 2.
  • They give us something to look for.
  • They’re free.
  • Nature is a haven for miracles. Blue sky? Miracle! Wildflowers growing in the ditch? Miracle. Ocean waves? Miracle. Hummingbirds? Miracle!
  • Miracles join people together.
  • They bring hope, restore faith, and can plaster a big smile on someone’s beautiful face!

Wow! That’s quite a list!

Even though Miracles in May is ending today, the possibility for miracles is not. I’d love to introduce you to this month’s miracle revolution. We’re going to follow the same format: post pictures of your miracles with a different hashtag. Hope you will join us for Jewels in June.

Miraculous Miracles

For a while now, things with our move have sort of been at a stand still. Our lake property that we’ve been trying to sell for over a year, hasn’t had a nibble. The farm we have picked out in the new town, hasn’t been moving forward. Like at all.

Stuck.

Have you ever felt like you were completely and utterly stuck in limbo? Knowing you’re going somewhere, but never really leaving? Oh my gosh, that gets old.

For me, that has left me right in the middle of frustrated. Going somewhere, but not so much.

Enter Sunday. Throughout the day on Sunday, I found SEVEN four-leaf clovers!! What?? Ok, I rarely even ever find one. So, finding number four, five, and six, I was like, “no way!”

Way!!!

And, those seven clovers changed everything! Are you ready for this?

Yesterday morning, I got a call from a number I didn’t recognize. It was some kind soul making an offer on our lake cabin!!! Are you kidding me? Completely out of the blue!

Then, the farm that we’ve had our eye on, became a real possibility yesterday!! Plus, another house that would be a great fit for us, opened up! Sunday afternoon, it had another offer on it. Yesterday,, that offer fell through!

What? Whoa! Are you talking to me?? Needless to say, I about fell over.

Why this sudden grace of good luck? I mean, how do all of things amazing things suddenly happen in one day?

Honestly, in my heart, I believe it’s because I gave a bunch of stuff from the past back.

In yesterday’s post, (you can read it here if you like.), I told you about how I realized that everyone else’s stuff I’ve taken on in my life, wasn’t ever mine. So, I gave it back.

Talk about freeing! By doing so, I think opened my heart up to receive more of the good stuff.

Recently, during one of the classes I took, I learned that by letting go of the old yucky stuff, stories, and looping thoughts, we actually create pathways for new things to come in. We create abundance!

So, say I have an old story that I’m carrying around and even though I’m completely justified in my thoughts and feelings towards it, it is s-t-i-l-l holding me back and it is s-t-i-l-l blocking the good things from coming in.

BUT, by releasing it, new wonderful things can come in?? Completely unprompted? They just show up?

Whoa! How cool is that? Hmm. Yes! Sign me up.

Here’s to four-leaf clovers, letting go, and having faith. What a beautiful few days it’s been. Freeing and full of miraculous miracles.

Divine

You are the most beautiful thing there ever was in this entire world.

Yes, you.

Let me guess, you’re looking side to side, trying to figure out who I’m talking to.

Perhaps you’re even glancing behind you, thinking there could be no possible way I could be talking to you. Trust me, I totally get that.

There have been many times in my life I would have been like, “Who, me?????” “Are you sure?” “That can’t be right.” “I must look like whoever you’re talking about.”

I mean, come on! We’re talking about life here. And, we all know life can be filled with ups and downs, ins and outs, and some serious pot holes.

Beautiful and messy all at once.

A few days ago I had a huge revelation! Gigantic! I was chatting with some friends when this truth hit me and it literally changed everything. In the moments that followed, those sweet souls urged me to write about it, so here goes.

For the past nine months, I’ve been doing some serious inner work and inner healing. Digging around in the details of days gone by has been critical on my path to finding my true self.

I’ve come a loooooooong way. You see, in my early twenties, I went through some pretty rough stuff. Needless to say, I’ve spent many years trying to make sense of that time and let it go. (You can read about Letting Go here, if you like.)

Some things like yoga, self-help books. breath work, prayers, and spiritual classes have helped me work through that time period in my life. Recently, forgiveness has been a key factor. But, honestly, forgiveness wasn’t the big cure all that I thought it’d be.

You know what I mean? Forgiving somebody is a really monumental thing- it can take years to get up the nerve to forgive and it takes serious guts to even think about doing it.

So, when I looked backwards and forgave many things, I thought I was done and that chapter was closed. Um… no. Things kept coming up anyway.

Really??? Really????

Last week, while walking to my mailbox, I suddenly remembered myself at age twenty one, completely out of the blue. I hadn’t thought that particular situation in years.

I’ve been meditating a lot, so later, I decided to try a visualization I’d heard about. I imagined myself at age twenty one with a suitcase at my feet.

Ok, that imaginary suitcase was absolutely bulging! I don’t know how it was even still closed. When I opened it up, it was filled with all kinds of things such as:

  • not worthy
  • worries
  • jealousy
  • not good enough
  • too sensitive
  • don’t wear your heart on your sleeve so much
  • guilt
  • shame
  • lonely
  • you don’t do anything right
  • mean words
  • self doubt
  • no self esteem whatsoever
  • nightmares, scars, bruises, and sadness.

Dang!!! That’s a heavy suitcase! And, I’ve been carrying remnants of those things around for twenty plus years?

In the visualization, I started pulling all that crap out, one by one, until that suitcase was empty! Empty! There was not one thing in it. Then, I started filling it back up with:

  • giving
  • loving
  • really smart
  • has faith
  • a good friend
  • compassionate
  • works for God
  • big heart
  • sensitive is a gift
  • worthy
  • full of light
  • kind, sweet, and funny

Omg!! I can’t even tell you how light I felt afterwards. From a visualization! Then, the lesson came.

We pick up stuff and we carry it. Sometimes for ten minutes, sometimes for ten years. But here’s the thing, we don’t have to. We can set stuff down. We can give stuff back.

Why?

Because it was NEVER EVEN OURS.

Sit on that for a second.

What we are is: loving, giving, glittery, all sparkly, hilarious, faithful, understanding, soulful, caring, intelligent, and any other positive word that comes to mind. We are butterflies and sunlight. We are the moon and stars. We are every single thing in this world that is right.

We may have taken on those jagged words, mean comments, or judging eyes, but that’s not who WE are. It never was. Imagine this, trying going back to that time and seeing yourself as a mirror. A pane of reflective glass with a frame. Now imagine all of those things coming towards you, but bouncing off the glass, and going back to where they belong.

They never belonged to us. All that crap is someone else’s.

Freeing, don’t you think?

I want to end this with something really fun we can do together so that you will start to realize that you ARE the most beautiful thing there ever was in this entire world. Practice saying this with me:

“All that junk was never even mine. I am beautiful and I’m divine.”

Thank you for reading. I hope you have a wonderful day.

Jessica