On Moments

December 29, 2023 / Jessica / 34 Comments

There are moments, you know?

When things have the possibility of going either way.

The right way or the wrong way.

The hard way or the easy way.

The sunny side up way or the upside down way.

Those moments, where in an utter blink, they have the potential of monumentally changing the sense of every-single-thing.

And, honestly, in those kinds of moments, our control over how they could/ will/ might go seems to hang in a balance of extreme fate and luck.

I had such a moment on December 22, 2023 around 6 p.m.

My kiddo and I had just spent a glorious week in a Missouri tourist town, with my dad, sister, and nephew.

Oh my, the time we had with them was one for the memory books. It was dad’s birthday week, and we were celebrating him and Christmas.

Friday the 22nd, it was time for us to go home.

Dad had already made his trip home on Wednesday, so on Friday, my sister and nephew set out for their 6 1/2 hour drive back to Texas and we left for our 3 1/2 hour drive back to our house.

About a 100 miles in, we were cruising along, doing just fine. It was dark and we had just passed a small town and were on a straight stretch of road.

Suddenly, and I am serious, it was so sudden, the moment appeared. I saw a huge buck right in front of us.

Brakes hit. Huge impact.

On my dad’s birthday, 3 days from Christmas, there we were, wrecked, in the dark, and away from any towns.

Gigantically terrifying.

A quick assessment, feet still on the brakes, we were stopped. Neither of us hurt, I called my husband. Voicemail. I sent a text: call me immediately, emergency.

He called back. With his instructions, I was able to get my truck pulled off of the highway.

How bad was the truck damage? I knew it was bad- I drive a big 4 door, 4 wheel drive truck, and the hood was crumpled. The view out the windshield was mostly blocked by a mass of metal.

I got out to look. Being on a 4 lane highway, cars were passing by quickly. I was so scared that even with our blinking hazard lights on, someone might hit us.

Took some pictures, got back in.

Then, sitting there, in my rear view mirror, I saw a car pull in behind us. It stopped a ways back. I started praying it wasn’t a weirdo…

It came forward a bit, then lights!

It was a Highway patrolman!

Things started lining up:

my husband started his 101 mile drive to get us
we were able to drop a pin to give him our location
the officer stayed with us
tow truck called
tow truck arrived
we were taken to a safe place, off the highway to wait for my husband
my truck was moved from the highway, too

A few hours later, the same night, we finally made it home.

In the days since, while standing knee deep in the gratitude that comes from close calls and a big case of the ‘could have happeneds’, I realized something about moments.

Sure, moments can come along the lines of those ‘or’ ventures, as in ‘easy way OR hard way’ but maybe, at times, moments can be a combo of things instead.

My truck is at the repair shop awaiting estimates and although that evening was flipped upside down, because we weren’t hurt and made it home, it was sunny side up, too.

Thankful for that.

Thanks for reading,

Jessica

Lake Wappapello Hiking

September 18, 2023 / Jessica / 24 Comments

All summer, almost every Saturday we’ve gone to different bowling alleys within about 2 hours of our home to try them out. My kiddo called it our “Summer World Bowling Tour.”

We’ve really been enjoying it. Being down by the boot heel in Missouri, we were able to bowl in Tennessee and Arkansas and still be 2 hours from home.

With about 10 new-to-us bowling alleys under our belt now, we decided to do something else this last Saturday: hike.

Lake Wappapello is about 45 miles from us and we’ve been there many times. We chose to hike the Allison Cemetery Trail which is on the State Park side of the lake.

Before we got there, I’d read some comments on All Trails that there are trees down on the trail in spots, but we decided to try it anyway.

sign at the trailhead ©️Unmeasured Journeys

The weather was amazing, 80 degrees and sunny. About a quarter mile in, the trail splits and goes to the Allison Cemetery. The map said it’s a pre-civil war cemetery, and oh my goodness, yes!

The stones were from the mid 1800’s and almost all of them were handmade.

Allison Cemetery sign ©️Unmeasured Journeys

One stone really caught my eye~ an amazing angel. It was absolutely beautiful. Stunning, really.

angel at the Allison Cemetery ©️Unmeasured Journeys

From there, we went back and found the green trail blaze. What a great hike! It’s mostly wooded with an amazing lake view. I always try to have my camera ready and was awarded with seeing colorful mushrooms, ferns, a tiny beach, and the lake through the trees.

colorful mushrooms ©️Unmeasured Journeys

lake through the trees ©️Unmeasured Journeys

The hike is rated moderate and I found that to be true. There are places with tree roots, many uneven rocks, and we seemed to lose the trail a couple of times, but were able to find it again.

2.5 miles is a bit over our average hike of 2 miles, but we did it, haha. We even managed to wear croc type shoes and navigated it pretty well.

The comments on All Trails were pretty accurate- there were a couple of trees down across the trail at times but they were easy enough to get over or around.

sat on a tree that was down across the trail ©️Unmeasured Journeys

If you’re in the Wappapello area and like moderate hikes, maybe keep the Allison Cemetery Trail in mind. There are maps online and there were paper maps on site.

Next time we go I believe I’ll swap the croc type shoes for hiking shoes- easier on the ankles, haha.

Thanks for reading!

~ Jessica

Tiny Nests

September 9, 2023 / Jessica / 15 Comments

I’d always heard hummingbird nests were tiny, and honestly, until a recent stay at my dad’s, I’d never seen one.

Lucky me, I got to see two.

The chapsticks are for a size reference and they’re about 2 inches long.

~ Jessica

The first tiny nest:

©️2023 Unmeasured Journeys ~tiny nest next to chapstick for size reference

©️ 2023 Unmeasured Journeys~ tiny nest tucked in a branch

©️ 2023 Unmeasured Journeys ~ nest size compared to my index finger

The second tiny nest:

©️2023 Unmeasured Journeys ~tiny nest with chapstick for size reference

©️2023 Unmeasured Journeys ~ heart shaped tiny nest

©️2023 Unmeasured Journeys ~my hand as a size reference to a tiny nest

©️2023 Unmeasured Journeys ~ Maxie, who was with me when I saw the nests

A Date With Sunflowers

September 7, 2023 / Jessica / 15 Comments

Recently, I had an impromptu date with sunflowers.

There weren’t that many, really, when compared to some landscapes. These were actually standing around at the very corner of a soybean field.

Somewhat drawn to them, I found myself observing them at all hours and even in midday when clouds filled the horizon after I said tiny prayer that the sun would hold off its full blast of light, momentarily.

My goodness, no matter what the light was doing, those sunflowers? They were stunning.

They didn’t seem to notice the ‘can’ts’ of life, they just showed up, they grew, they followed the sun, they opened up, they took the wind as it came, they swayed.

They welcomed bees as we do houseguests, sending them on their way with full tummies while extending invitations to come back soon.

Not a bee myself, I felt welcomed, too. They didn’t seem to mind my camera or when I stepped between them for a closer look.

Twenty, thirty, forty pictures later, it was still hard to walk away… what if I missed an opportunity to see the petals just so or to catch a breeze among the stems…

What a beauty there is in that.

~ Jessica

On Summer

August 12, 2023 / Jessica / 12 Comments

I’m not sure what February is like where you live, but that teeny, tiny 28/29 day month feels like 6 months of winter here.

In it, although it isn’t true by definition, it’s like this place becomes a tundra. Temperatures hover around 0- 20 degrees. The wind acts as though it’s in a race against itself. And, ice???

Oh my!!

Ice shows up unannounced- parks itself on roads and driveways and tries to take over my pool! Such nerve, that ice, haha. I find myself wanting to run out there and remind it that the pool is for swimming only.

The last 2 Februarys have been beyond long. About mid-month, I remember wondering how much longer 2 more weeks could be. Still 14 days, right?

But 0 degrees and a wintry mix = not many ventures outdoors.

Finally, February fell away, seeming to pack up its bags and move itself along. March through April are cold months here, so May is quite a welcome sight.

Grass starts to green up, wildflowers bloom, light fills more days, baby animals are born, days become warmer, the pool water, too, and we truly emerge from winter’s cocoon, as refreshed as a new butterfly.

Somewhat a fan of all seasons, I’ve grown up with 4, when summer makes its entrance, I’m so excited that I’d line up for a parade for summer!

Sunset at 9 p.m.? I’m in! Flowers galore? Oh yes! Deer and their spotted twins munching grass in our field? Let me grab my camera. Slow pace and less places to be? Sign me up.

When my kiddo was small, I wrote about ‘Seventies Summers’ where I’d buy him 1970’s looking summer outfits (think blue and green striped tops and solid green shorts) and we’d set out for the simple summer adventures I’d had as a kid.

Visiting grandparents for a week, going to our hometown pool, picnics, a family vacation, sandbox fun, late nights, catching fireflies, taking care of a big garden, going to parks, camping in the back yard, and more.

Kids grow (who invented that anyway? In my opinion, they grow too fast) and the seasons adapt, and mostly our summers have stayed the same, minus the matching attire, haha.

This summer we’re in has been a great one. We came out of a ‘swamped with activities’ May, which included his first role in a play- Scarecrow in Wizard of Oz. Also, I hosted a fancy costume dance and supper for one of his other clubs- so fun! May was filled to the brim with busy and we loved everything we were doing.

Still, when summer sauntered in, I was open armed. Life slowed down, things got quieter.

So far, we’ve spent time/ days:

9 days in eastern Tennessee on vacation
Saturdays doing a completely unofficial and totally made up ‘Summer World Bowling Tour’ where we go to bowling alleys we’ve never been to before and try them out
hanging out by the pool
fishing
bike riding
some hiking,
some plain ol’ days of being absolutely lazy
reading books- I’ve read 4+ books and counting
visiting my dad- we just got home from a week with him
this week, we have friends coming to swim
today we go bowl somewhere new

Now, that’s my kind of season. Summer + me= best friends forever!!! If I could step into summer boots anytime I wanted, I’d do that. (No offense, February.)

What about you? Any other summer fans out there? What’s your favorite season? Or do you live in a place that has them?

I’m going to end this with some summer photos I took at dad’s last week. Afternoons were filled with working in my momma’s flower beds, the roses and flowers that she planted are in bloom. Another gift of summer.

Hope you have a great Saturday.

Jessica

On Time

August 11, 2023 / Jessica / 17 Comments

If time itself was a person, oh my, Time would flat out confuse me.

As a kid, the school year ticked by soooooo slow, while the summers raced by so fast.

Right now, I’m sitting on my front porch watching my kiddo whiz by on his UTV, practicing for driving, of course. That’s got me thinking about time.

Baby to now, luckily, hasn’t been a rocket speed blast through time. Time is being kind to us as we’ve meandered our way through ABC’s, lazy afternoons, learning and growing, nature adventures, family vacations, day to days, and lots of hanging out time.

I’m grateful.

At other times, though, I’d love to wrap a leash around time, and pull it to a trickling pace. Like this past week I spent with my dad or those 10 short days we had with my momma.

Can you believe it’s been 16 months since my momma passed?

What a mixed bag of days that’s been. Some days dragged on like you wouldn’t believe, while others zoomed by. And, in the midst, I unplugged.

Have you ever done that? Just stepped back, checked out, turned inward, quieted all the noise?

For me, it was like, when you get up early and wander into the yard on some fall day, after dew has settled on those tiny cobwebs that are on the grass.

There’s just a peace to them. Uninterrupted by deadlines and schedules and the this and that of a busy life. They just hang out and when the dew comes, there’s no big parade or award. It’s just them.

At times, through this grand adventure of grief that accompanies momma/ parent loss, people tried to rush me, almost like, if you run as fast as you can for the checkered flag, it’ll end…

But, I chose not to rush through this. I chose to sit in it, deal with it, cry my eyes out, and find my way through it now, because I didn’t/ don’t want to have work through it however many years from now.

Sure is easy to do in loss, tuck it away in some old imaginary coat pocket, stuck in the back of the closet. Been there, done that too many times to count.

Sudden grandparent loss? Uncle loss? I totally stashed that grief away. Friend losses? Ugh, tooooo painful, they got pushed down into my heart and band aided over.

I knew momma loss would take my breath away and on many occasions it has. No instruction manual in hand, I am actually making my way.

Making my way- that has a nice ring to it. ❤️ Allowing myself time to do that, has been very beneficial. Such a grace to that.

Well, my kiddo is done riding, time to go in for some snacks.

Thanks for being here.

Jessica

Old Tractor

August 9, 2023 / Jessica / 25 Comments

I sit to write, I cry. Three months have passed since I buttoned up my lip on writing. I’ve no idea what to say… so instead I think I’ll share some pictures I took yesterday of my dad’s old tractor.

P.S. Thanks, dad, for always letting me share pictures of your tractor, tools, and stuff.

Thanks for reading, blogging friends. Hope you’re doing well.

Jessica

On Birthdays

May 11, 2023 / Jessica / 36 Comments

On May 11, 1946 my momma was born in an old Iowa farmhouse and I swear, the moon must’ve been shining bright and all the flowers must’ve been singing upon her arrival to this lovely planet.

Today, I imagine what it must’ve been like that day, in the country, in a two story house that sat back near some trees, at the end of a long winding lane.

I bet there was such joy when a new baby came. A celebration. Ooooing and ahhhing over tiny fingers and rosy cheeks. Life changes with a baby.

Life also changes without one. My momma wasn’t a baby when she passed, she was 75, but she was still somebody’s baby. Someone’s dream come true, back in 1946.

And, she was ours. Our life and our dream. She was a momma, wife, friend, cousin, niece, sister, aunt, and grandmother. My, oh my, how we miss her.

Birthdays were always a big thing for my momma. When ours rolled around, she decorated, did the cakes, and made our day so special. How amazing, really, those yearly reminders of how the moment we were born was still worth celebrating.

Birthdays meant something to my momma. And, because of her, they mean something to me. I tend to go ‘all out’, too. Streamers and banners, a cake and gifts, and confetti to top it all off.

It’s funny, the shift that takes place after someone passes and their birth-day comes. It’s such a contradiction. Here we are, on this date that used to be so laughter, cake, and gift filled, to another reminder that she’s gone.

Birthdays are different after loss…

Today is the 2nd birthday of hers since she passed. Last year was a tear filled mess. She was about to turn 76, but didn’t make it, so that birthday was sooooooo hard.

If you follow my blog, you may have noticed I haven’t written anything for a long time. I quit writing again. I let a comment get to me- it was one of trying to push me through my journey of momma loss.

It broke me in a way that squished all desire to write. Before it, I had been honest about how momma loss feels.

After it?

I pulled the shades up around my writing and I stopped, again. It wasn’t the first time a comment caused me to throw in the writing towel.

But, you know what?

My momma loved this blog and she especially loved when I started writing again after having a big case of writer’s block. So today, I’m writing for her.

Happy Heavenly Birthday to my momma! ❤️❤️❤️

If there is such a thing as reuniting with family and loved ones on the Heavenly side, I hope they’re having a big ol’ party for her. She would surely love it!

Thanks for reading,

Jessica