Different But the Same

/ Jessica

Being at my parent’s house feels wonderful to my heart. As soon as we pulled in the driveway, the ache of being homesick subsided. It came to a screeching halt. There, H O M E.

Familiar, especially after loss, feels like a peace I can barely describe. It’s almost as if bouncing around in the tides of grief for the past four months has calmed a bit.

The house is the same. The yard is the same. The closets, the kitchen, and the flowers outside are the same. The sun rises in the same place. The stars grace the same sky.

But, you know what’s different? The calendar. It’s nearly August now, so it’s not any of or all of the months before March. My momma passed in March…

Home is different, but the same.

It’s comforting. It’s meals. It’s cookies baking in the oven. It’s birds on the feeder and grapes on the vine. It’s trees full of apples and peaches. It’s magazines and puzzles my momma loved. It’s sunsets on the back porch. It’s corn rows by the yard. It’s my dad’s old tractor.

It’s this and that all mixed together in times of past and present. People always say to me that they can’t imagine my loss. Amen to that, I can’t imagine I’m walking this path either, but here I am. And, this week, I’m grateful to be home.

Thank you for reading.

Jessica

dad’s old tractor
corn field by the yard
old flower pots in the shed
a frog on the trash can
an old trailer of my dad’s
‘mornin’ glory

©️Copyright 2022 Unmeasured Journeys

30 thoughts on “Different But the Same”

  1. Here are the posts I mentioned Jessica for when you have time. Please don’t feel obligated to stop and read them now. [I actually wrote this comment and it went into cyberspace – hmm.]

    https://lindaschaubblog.net/2019/05/12/mom-n-me/
    https://lindaschaubblog.net/2022/02/14/the-locket/

    I wrote this post a little tongue-in-cheek due my mom and my different opinions on housework.

    https://lindaschaubblog.net/2019/04/07/spring-cleaning-and-preening/

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  2. I like your photographs and your writing Jessica. I am sorry for the recent loss of your mother. My mom and I were very close and I lost her in January of 2010. It was very difficult because her birthday was two weeks later and then the first Mother’s Day, as you have mentioned – gut wrenching. It is tough and I still miss her very much and often mention her in my blog. She passed away before I started my blog in 2013. I have no family at all and no close friends anymore, so the blogging community has become like a family to me.

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    • Hi. How nice to see you here. Thank you so much. I love photography and have worked in many photography jobs through the years. My favorite things are buildings, nature, old stuff. Things like in this post. Your photos are amazing, so I appreciate that you like mine.

      Gut wrenching is the perfect description of this experience- especially the birthdays/Mother’s Day parts. I’ve always *tried* to be supportive to others that had a parent loss, but after experiencing it myself, I see I never really understood their pain until now.

      I feel for you, that you lost your mom. I’ll look for the posts where you mention her. I’m sorry you have no family and no close friends anymore. It’s interesting how friends come and go like the weather. There seem to be seasons of many friends, and seasons of few. I get that, too. I think that’s one of the hardest things about mom loss- the close friendships with them are gone as well. Double whammy. ❤️ The blogging community is quite wonderful. People aren’t afraid to step up and say kind things. I have been blessed with many bloggers, like yourself, who have commented on my hard posts and made me feel seen and appreciated for writing about my momma.

      Thank you for commenting. Hugs about your momma.

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      • Jessica, I used to travel a lot in my 20s and got interested in 35mm photography then. But I stopped traveling after 1983 and put the camera aside. But I have not had a photography job nor a writing job. I started including photos in my blog after a couple of years, having used stock photos or no photos before that and got interested in photography again.

        I like nature photography too and I liked the picture of the red truck in your photo.
        Very interesting.

        Friends from high school and then college – well, we all went our own ways and are not close now. But it is okay. I keep in touch with a few friends from high school on Facebook, but we really don’t have anything in common anymore. The blogging community is very special.

        As to losing your mom, it does get easier after a while Jessica. The first thing I did was go through the photo album and take some favorite pictures of my mom and also of us together and put them in frames around the house. We had a few pictures out already, but I decided those pictures from happier days would make me feel better. I mention my mom often, but these are my favorite blog posts to read when you have time. I never (or rarely) mentioned my father in my blog and I am sure people wondered why I had my mom on a pedestal, so when I did this Mother’s Day post, I explained a little bit. I will send the posts in a separate comment. I get a lot of SPAM, some days 50 per day and other days, like today, I had 10. Go figure.

        Hugs back to you as well for your momma.

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  7. Jessica, your pictures are just beautiful. Especially the morning glory. Perhaps that is divine encouragement from above. I am glad you find comfort in being at home.

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    • Hi Betty. I love that, ‘divine encouragement.’ I wrote a post one time called Divine. My momma loved it. I read her comments on that Divine post recently. Thank goodness I started this blog long enough ago that she read it and commented. Gifts. I’ll see if I can find a link- the post is old.

      Thank you so much. I love taking pictures here. So many great chances for photos. Thank you- my momma LoVed those morning glories. Thank you for writing such supportive and nice things on my posts. I really appreciate that.

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      • Please do post the link if you find it. I would love to read it. You write beautifully, Jessica, with lots of heart. I am glad your mom was able to see your talent, too.

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      • I just read it, Jessica. An excellent post, and one many of us can relate to. Even at my age, there are things to take out of my suitcase and replace with something more positive. I like your mom’s comment, too. Thank you for the link!

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        • I understand- I ought to look at my suitcase, too. There are a few remnants that need the boot. Filling it with love and grace sounds quite nice. My momma would’ve wanted it all sparkly and things. Thank you for reading it.

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  8. My mom died years ago, but I still remember that my dad began to call me every Sunday, just as she had. I would never have expected that. It was strange to go back home to visit him when she was no longer there.

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  9. So glad you are home as it is like open arms welcoming you back into the fold. You will keep the spirit alive for your Dad and he’ll hear laughter that will awaken his ears to that loving sound!! Listen to those whispers from your Mom as they’ll be everywhere for you and your family. I hear her laughter every day when “things” happen that I know she’d love!! Have a great week!!

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    • I absolutely love what you said about the laughter and the awaken. I’m sitting at the table and just saw their dog digging his nose in the biscuit box and help himself. I laughed so loud. I’m happy you hear her laughter. I miss that and her whistling so much.

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  10. Hi…I can feel your pain because I too lost my grandmother in June…..and can never get over this loss cause everything around reminds me of her when I visit our old house .
    Your blog felt so real and emotional.
    All the best 👍

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